Peer Review by AminahMcBina (United States)

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Never Too Late To Let Go (Continued)

By: Bellbell0307


I dared myself to look at him one last time. His beautiful bright brown eyes, his lips, that once kissed mine, tilted upwards to some other guy. I had to block out the sound of his boisterous laugh. His hand touched the other boy’s shoulder, my heart lurched inside my chest. I wanted to scream but all I could do was start to tap my pencil on the desk that sat before me. Tap tap tap, the repetitive sound that reminded me of the day we met. I choked on my tears and started my test, trying not to think of my sweet Ollie.
Tap tap tap, the heavy rain fell on my umbrella. I sighed and walked onward, clueless as to where I was heading. “Hey, Arabella!” I turned to see a young Ollie smiling at me from his porch. We were next door neighbors, but I never got to know him personally. I faked a smile and forced a tiny wave.
My neighbor frowned, his eyes scanning my body. I felt uncomfortable and turned away. “Aren’t you a tad bit cold?” He asked. I turned back to him and nodded.
“I’ll be fine. No need to worry.”
I had begun to turn around yet again, ready to walk onward, when I heard a fumbling commotion from where he was. Instead of looking back again, I kept walking, tired of the interaction. A shuffle and a click sounded from behind me as a umbrella opened up beside mine, knocking it slightly, pushing the growing raindrops off in a splatter. Ollie, of course, was trotting along side me, clutching a newly soaked umbrella. His smile was wider than ever, eager to socialize. I attempted to pick up speed, not really in the mood for any socializing he wanted to accomplish. He sped walked right up next to me, glancing over with shining eyes.
    “Where are you off to?” He questioned, the glimmer never leaving his look. My response was quick and unthought.
This only made Ollie’s gleam brighter, for he was obviously concocting something in his head. He rushed in front of me and stopped. I didn’t want to stumble on top of him so I side stepped him and kept walking.
“Oh, come on!” I heard him say in annoyance as he kept up to pace with me again. “I just want to chat a bit~!”
I gave him an hard glare, but sighed, showing I didn’t care much at this point. He took it as a sign to continue.
    “I was gonna ask you, deary, if you’d like to spend some time together? Like a….date?”
My expression was one of obvious shock, but I tried to hide it by smiling, hopefully not hurting his feelings. He seemed appreciative of my smile and smiled back himself, raising his eyebrows almost to say, “Is that a yes or a no?” His eyes were still glimmering and the smile on his face made him look so adorable, it was like taking a puppy’s toy away if I were to say no to this guy.
“I guess so, but only once.”
Ollie’s face went from happy to beyond enjoyment, I don’t think there could be anyone more grateful, even on such a dreary day. He questioned when would be a good time to hang out, and I answered later tonight. At that, he whipped around, and trotted back home, waving a quick good-bye and somehow still keeping his heavy rained umbrella up. Little did I know, our little one time adventure would develop into a world wide exploration of feelings.
    I woke up when the bell rang. I looked down at my test and realized that I didn’t answer any of the questions, all I wrote were Ollie’s initials, ‘O.E,’ with a heart around them.  
“Ms. Turner!” Mr. Delvo called my name, I stood up out of my seat and walked up to his desk, looking around to see that I was the only student in the room. I handed him my unfinished test. After scanning the first page, he shot me a concerned look. “This is the third test that was handed in uncompleted. Are you not understanding the topic?”
“I understand the topic. I just can’t focus because,” I trailed off and searched the room once more. My eyes lingered on Ollie’s seat for a while, what did I do, Ollie? Why are you doing this? I shook my head, trying to erase my thoughts and started to walk out when Mr. Delvo stopped me and gave me a pass to the guidance counselor, “don’t pretend that I can’t see Ollie’s initials, what happened to the two of you?” I shrugged, and wiped away the newly forming tears in my eyes. I took the note and stumbled out of the room.
When walking through the halls, I saw Ollie with the boy from class, his sea green eyes met mine for a brief second and he laughed. My eyes widened, is he laughing at me? Ollie twirled around the other boy, eyes still on me. Turning away from them, I clutched my books to my chest and scurried outside to the courtyard.

I changed the main character's name to Arabella and this is being collaborated with DragonMasterFox

Peer Review

" What did I do, Ollie? Why are you doing this?" These lines stood out to me because I think that this is all too common. Just when you think you love someone, they turn their back on you. Humanity is evil like that :/

I feel so bad fro Arabella! (I love her name!) I want to grab Ollie and beat him to a pulp!

Who or what inspired you to write this? This piece was so good, and I wish I could write something half as good!

Reviewer Comments

Well done on this piece, it was absolutely amazing!!!

Always write free,