Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Published on a whim because I was too tired to tailor it to perfection. So it's probably far from ideal. But before I take a stab at it again, if you see any major flaws in it, leave a review :)
"I see the galaxy tangling itself in my hair" It just adds depth to the poem from the very beginning. The way it was written gives the poem mystery and allows the reader to imagine a galaxy of beautiful things and horribles messes all in one sentence.
I feel the loneliness and sadness of the poem. It was so interesting to read about the people of the night. My most favorite part was the transition on how they lost themselves to become those who assimilated to the day.
What inspired this poem?
Loved it! The incorporations of the stars, and outer space, in general, were amazing. I do wish there was more to this. There were things I wanted to know, about the people and how they left. Are you the protagonist, or is this hero a new creation?
A lot of great things!