Boys to the left, boys to the right
Marching, prancing, ready to fight!
Boys with helmets made from tubs
Boys with armguards that itch and rub.
Boys with breastplates made from tin
Shields that fasten with a pin.
Boys with holster belts too tight
Boys with swords very light.
Boys with faces fierce and foul
Boys that tried to make a scowl.
Boys that only laughed and could not frown,
Looking at a pal’s funny fighting gown.
The leader, dressed in colorful rags
And boasting a holster with terrible sags,
Raised high in the air his sword in hand
And gave the boys the war command.
Forming ranks, row by row,
The tall, the short, the fast, the slow,
All in order on either side
Standing tall with boyish pride.
The two sides square off with faces firm
And stand their ground with nary a squirm
Until a yell, “Do or die!”
Set the swords and sticks to fly.
Wham! lands a wooden sword on someone’s head
Ouch! a boy lands on the ground like an eagle spread.
Pow! Was that Tom, Dick, or Harry?
Bam! goes a sword, had it been real it’d been scary!
As fast as the battle began,
Soon wore out their game plan
The soldiers sat on grass and under trees
Nursing bumps on heads and swollen knees.
The captain of one and the captain of the other
Shook hands and called each other brother.
Looking miserable and bored,
Not knowing or caring which side had scored,
One boy suggested with hopeful eyes
“Mom made chocolate chip cookies as a surprise.”
A change came over the weary warriors
And they immediately dispatched a faithful courier
Who prepared the mother for a sudden noise
For several troops of hungry warrior boys.
“Mom” thought to herself with a rueful face
As she watched the boys eat as if in a race,
If the army was made of boys It would suffer through a lot more noise And would have to hire an excellent baker To doctor wounds and serve as peacemaker.