Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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To you, the Moon

By: Roisin Dauth


The moon has known me my whole life.
Seen me weep and howl.
It has kept my secrets when I whisper kindly to it.
It has silently taken all the anger I scream at it.
And I have written stories about its splendour, praised it for its serenity.
But I can honestly say, I know nothing of its life.
I know nothing of how its craters where formed.
Whether they were carved by God, or hit with rock.
Why it shies away during each cycle.
What does it see that embarasses it so.

I do not know how it bears to see the world as it is, if it bears it at all.
Did it finally feel connected as man landed gently upon its surface.
Did it feel angry as our flag splintered through its skin.
Or, did it feel nothing at all.
Does our folk lore and stories make it scoff at our imagination.
Does it spend its nights listening for its famous line, searching for the finger tips of lovers on a balcony.
When it sees the dawning horizon, does it scurry away or hang to the stars for one last glimpse at its only companion.
Is it revolted, or does it revel, in the whims of humanity.
At night I hear the waves crash against sand and feet and wonder if it's the moon trying to speak, trying to tell us of our beauty.
Maybe, it's trying to wash us away to depths where we can’t be seen.
I wonder if the moon likes me, if I could be its friend.
Could I join it in the sky in its crusade to shelter the unwanted in its shadows.
Or, would I be joining its campaign to spread its tendrils of darkness to the heart of man.
 
The moon has known me my whole life, and I may know nothing of its.
But to you, the moon, I ask only one thing.
Do you ever think the world can be as beautiful as you?


Peer Review

It helps me to see from a different perspective. Empathy is very important to me, and I love reading things like this. Something that not only brings the writer's POV into the story, but also an "inanimate" object's view.
Well-done! :)


I don't think so. You did an amazing job as is! You push past humanity's POV, to another side of the story. :)


Wow.....this is an extremely hard question. I love so many lines in this poem. Each one is imaginative, and crafted with unique word combinations. :) I suppose I could just cheat and say the last one is my favorite, because it leaves the reader with a thought. Your beginning line is also very good at pulling the reader in further. :)


Superb! So many great lines in this piece! Keep up the fantastic work! Oftentimes, it's hard for the writer to come up with a meaningful ending that really makes the reader think. I don't know what your thought process for your ending was, but the result was excellent. :)


Reviewer Comments

Keep up the unique descriptions, and POVs!!
God bless!