Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The vivid imagery captured my attention from the get-go.
The character's extensive knowledge about sea life, etc. revealed that he had grown up on the coast, and his thoughts about his father and corporate greed revealed some of his feelings and possibly his desires. I'd like to see if this follows the lead of environmental stories like Hoot, where the main character saves the animals/environment/etc. from destruction/greed.
Yes! You've done a great job on this front. I have no critiques!
I wanted to see a bit more about the narrator's friend on the phone. He's brought up but quickly forgotten. I'd love to see your narrator interacting with his friend directly to reveal both of their characters.
The writing here is very, very sophisticated. You have a talent for capturing the atmosphere of coastal living. Keep at it!! :D
You have some really great material here! The setting was very vivid, and it reminded me so much of my childhood in South Florida.
I'm very curious now about your upbringing. I'm almost positive you grew up on the coast--either that, or you have read extensively about fishing/ocean life/coastal living. Because you have seriously captured it so well.
I really enjoyed reading this, and I am still in awe of your grasp of language. With the addition of a great driving conflict/tension, this could be wonderful novel. I wish you the best of luck with this project!