I'm just laying here. I can't move. Can't speak. Can barely breath. I was in so much pain I wish I was already dead. The smell of the wet leaves on the forest floor is making me happy, makes the pain go away for a little bit. I knew I was drifting between consciousness. It is hard not to.
The smell of blood was strong, there were places where I could see pools of it and....I wasn't scared, I felt a wave of calmness, like the waves at the beach on a warm, sunny day. Oh, how I loved the beach, so many happy faces and kids' laughter. It was like a second home to me. Even in the fall it was amazing. It was so calm and relaxing, there were no sounds most of the time, and when there was, it was mostly just the local kids playing in the sand or some lovey dovey teens walking the boardwalk. I hope I get to see the beach one last time before
It started raining, I haven't been here for that long, it feels like I have been here for hours though. I hear a couple pairs of footsteps running down the trail. I'm hoping they would notice the pool of blood in the middle. I was stabbed there. Dragged a few yards off the trail, then, almost beat to death. I'm only half hoping they would see it. It's kind of peaceful, laying here, no worries, it's just me and nature. But the other half of me was hoping they would find me so I could see my family, all of them, and spend valuable time with them. It's hard to imagine that dying would make you happy, and also sad at the same time.
I hear the footsteps grow closer, then a scream as they stop. I can almost make out their faces, but they are just far enough where I can only see their eyes. The man, looks about to be in his early 20's, is the one to make the first move closer to me. My eyes widened as I realized who it was.
It is my brother. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I try so hard to let him know I'm still here, that I want to go. I don't want him to see me like this.
I didn't want him to see me like this is because he might be witnessing his only family member left, dying.
Our mom died when we were first born, twins, who would have guessed? She was having complications during the birth and died after we were born. He has always blamed himself for her death, even though it was never his fault, I had to teach myself that too. Our father died in a car crash when we were 15, he was intoxicated and turned into oncoming traffic on the freeway. Our older brother died of an overdose, he was only 26 a couple years ago. So we have had a very rough life as far as I can tell. If I go..... I don't want to think about it....but it's one of the biggest possibilities.
I see his girlfriend pull out her phone and frantically dial 9-1-1, she tells them the usual, where we are, what happened and how they came up to me. Then they start asking her a bunch of questions like "Is she still breathing?" "What is her current condition?" "Was there anyone else with her or around her when you found her?" "Is she awake?" Just the normal questions you see them ask on movies and t.v. shows.
They tell them to keep an eye on me and to stay on the phone. I feel terrible. I did this.
I feel like someone hit me with a 10 ton bowling ball. I start to open my eyes and realize where I am. I'm in the ambulance. I look to the left and see my brother and his girlfriend. I try to call out, but only a screech come out of my mouth. I try to focus and figure out what the hell happened. Think damn it, come on Skylar, THINK. I clench my eyes as it all comes to me. Whoa, how the hell am I even alive? I then realize that there is still a possibility that I might not even make it to the hospital.
This morning I woke up and went downstairs. I made my coffee, let the dog out, put the bread in the toaster, and cut up some strawberries. It felt just like a normal day. No one expects a day to turn out horrible when they wake up, they may feel groggy and and miserable but that doesn't mean your day is going to turn terrible. I was planning to go to my friends surprise party, then my sisters baby shower, and then go shopping. A fun day.
I decided to go for a quick run by the beach down the road so I could feel refreshed. I was getting my water and grabbing my keys when I realized I forgot to fill the dog bowls. So I did that and then couldn't find my phone so I just left it since it was a only a little bit down the road.
Back at the hospital Someone opens my eyes and shines a light into them, I'm still bloodied and bruised and broken. I can hear them yelling. It's overwhelming, scary.
They take me into a room, it's a dark room, like one you see on a show. It's a small room. I see a doctors face come into view and look over me. "It'll all be over soon." They said with an smile. They pulled a mask over my face, and in no time, I was out like a light.