Peer Review by silentdroplets (Singapore)()

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By: elisa


PROMPT: The Unknown

i don't know about falling in love

is it the way your lips brush against my hands
or our clammy palms touching
as you guide me through the park

or turning on the captions before i can ask
or knowing the right words to say
when the aching knot in my mind turns
into fire

is it the salt on my tongue 
winding its way through
 or my broken bones
and cracked rib cage
letting out butterflies

or a breeze reflecting the moon on your face
and your arm reaching up
pale in the moonlight
to touch the sky

is it the worn metal of the necklace
you gave me
deformed from months of use
and hungry lips that cannot find you
and so find the next best thing

i don't know about falling in love
and i've always been afraid of experiencing what i didn't know

so now i'm afraid
dough·nut
ˈdōˌnət/
noun
noun: donut
  1. a small fried cake of sweetened dough, typically in the shape of a ball or ring.
    • a pretty girl with a slanted roof

Peer Review

"is it the worn metal of the necklace / you gave me / deformed from months of use". I love these lines because it shows just how much time has passed since the narrator got the necklace and how well-loved it is, even if the narrator isn't sure what love really is.

I love the ending "i don't know about falling in love / and i've always been afraid of experiencing what i didn't know / so now i'm afraid" since along with the notion of "not knowing", there is also a fear that comes with it and stands out quite strikingly in this poem. Not only is the narrator facing the unknown, we also know what they feel about it.

You shared the various ways the other showed love to the narrator but how scared the narrator was in facing these, as they didn't know what love was. Some insights from that included how love isn't always huge romantic gestures or big gifts to one another - it could also be small gestures and feelings, as told by the narrator.

I felt the fear the narrator was talking about throughout the poem, and I walked away with a deeper understanding of love in general.

Reviewer Comments

It was a pleasure to read! It conveyed just the right amount of emotion and was interesting enough to capture my attention throughout. Good job!