Peer Review by casual.ties (New Zealand)()

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fernweh

By: agustdv


PROMPT: The Unknown

fernweh: [n] an ache for distant places; the craving for travel


i do not know about the world.


when the wind inches closer to the cherry blossoms and soothes them into a downward spiral, i might begin to cry.

it is a hiccuping dream; to trek my way to a teeming city where nobody knows who i am or what i have done. the scent of exuberant people and the burning taste of snow on my tongue and the melody of broken rib-cages whisper to me ever so sightly; lulling me towards the place they promise to be.


when the reflection off the bejewelled lanes of winding alleys dance on my face, i might begin to cry.

i might drink steaming coffee under a lonely bridge when the night is aging, and the stars kiss the horizon. i might carve my name on graffiti-infested walls and take polaroid pictures of wind chimes. when i pass by a school, i might pray for the children to hold onto the nightmare for a little longer.


when i trudge back home at midnight, one glass slipper lost in a place far, far away, i might begin to cry.

fernweh, you make me want to live all over again.


Peer Review

Wow this piece is so beautiful! The opening line is a really effective and as is the closing line, which leaves me too with an urge to travel the world and live everything all at once.


I like the idea of it being a 'hiccuping dream'. You don't describe specific places or experiences, but you describe sensations or feeling, like the idea of walking through a teeming city. It makes it very personal to each different person who reads your piece.


This piece definitely made me feel 'fernweh' and I think your piece perfectly described the word and the feelings that surround it.


Reviewer Comments

I really love this piece! Great job.