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Anelise Merchant

United States

Message to Readers

Tell me what I could do to spice up my wording or how I could add to the experience. What questions do you have about this transition? Also tell me if the flow seems to be off in places or if you liked how it flowed.

First Draft

November 9, 2015


Anelise Merchant
1st hour
College Application Essay
In this world today it is hard to know when you truly become an adult. Society just expects you to realize that on one particular day you get a whole new set of responsibilities and priorities that you must abide by. Other cultures have huge celebrations or traditions that they do to symbolize the end of childhood and the first step towards adulthood. My parents did just that. Now, my celebration was no HUGE celebration with a giant fire and crazy music and dancing. My party was small and full of close friends and family.
    My parents knew from their own experiences that adulthood can be scary and the fact we are forced all of these new task and burdens on us is hard. They thought that if they gave their children a celebration of becoming an adult then we would know that it was time to take on these responsibilities and be ready for harder ones. They invited close friends and family. My youth pastor was one of them. Even though this was not done by or through the church he still came and gave a blessing to me. The party was small but full of warmth. My parents and my pastor both gave small speeches about me and how I have grown into a caring and beautiful woman. It was touching to hear my parents talk about all my accomplishments and how proud they were of me. I got misty eyes during all of the speeches. After people came up and would give me hugs or a small amount of money telling me to save it and use it for college. The other adults joked it was my “first adult dollar” and to cherish it because money gets tight when you are young.
    Becoming an adult was a scary thought for me. Being an adult just sounds stressful and money-less. Having this party made me realize all of the things I have done. How I have matured to a smart independent woman throughout the years. It made me feel like I could take on the world and nothing could stop me. I was no longer a child, I could run free with my dreams and not be told they were silly or delusional. The only responsibility I gained that day was the responsibility of being an adult. This transition made me feel as though I could be taken seriously and not seen as an imaginative child whose ideas are poppycock. I was a lady now and had grown out of my immature kid habits. I would not say I reached the level of my parents in adulthood that day, but I felt closer to becoming the woman I wanted to be.
    From this experience I learned that becoming an adult is embracing life and all that it throws at you on your journey through it. The waters can get rough and you may have to pull up the sails to stop from capsizing, but at the end of the storms comes a calm sea. Adulthood is about learning from all the mistakes you made as a child and using those mistakes as a guide of what to do and not to do. Adulthood is about embracing your dreams and never settling for ‘okay’. It’s about doing and fighting for something you love because now you have the assets and tools to do so. You are able to decide for yourself and not have to listen to what society's idea of an adult is. The world is your oyster. You have the ability to go out and make a difference,make and invention, learn about a new culture, learn about yourself. Being an adult isn’t all about having to do taxes and mortgages. When you take that first step into adulthood, it’s not about work it's about love.  The things you cherish and love the most will always come above everything else. That’s what you learn from adulthood.
    I am thankful I was able to have this knowing transition in my life. To know that now I have become an adult and am able to take on these responsibilities head on with no worries. I thank all of those who were there to celebrate my time entering what seemed to be a scary new world. This experience has taught me so much and I wish everyone could share in this growing experience themselves. I have learned to no longer be scared of becoming an adult due to this. It’s an experience I wish I could have over agian and I plan on giving to my own children.


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  • November 9, 2015 - 8:12am (Now Viewing)

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