Peer Review by yapyapxy (Singapore)

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LaCrone

By: Suri Purefoy


PROMPT: Living People

Boston, New York
11:42 a.m.
November 23 2006


I'm not going to share this with anyone but myself. Alright?
Fine. Just promise, and no side questions. 
Let's get started. 

(I sit in a big coushy chair, directly across from my parton. I note the way her hair is purposefully styled; she wants to hide her eyes. The baseball cap that sits tightly over her brown hair saggs and is full of wrinkles and odd bulches. Her jeans are raggedy and baggy. Shirt: a XL women's that is three sizes too large for her, and she has tied it at the bottom, creating a wrinkled look. 
I take a breath and gaze down at my notepad.)

What is something no one knows about you?

(She stares at me in silence. I know she's hesitant, who wouldn't be?)

I have a brother.
What makes you nervous?
People asking quesitons about me. 

(She smirks a little.)

What's your favorite time of day?
Time of day? Time is overrated!
Could you share with me your earilest memory?
Not not dying.

(I raise an eyebrow but jot it down anyways.)

Who do you trust secrets with?
No one. You I don't trust, either.
Only smart. What is a bad habit of yours?
Speaking before I think.
Do you collect anything?
Dates.
What is a good habit?
Keeping secrets.
Did you ahve a nightmare recently? What was it about?
My parents.
Favorite weather?
When the sky is blank and dark.
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
I'm still here...
What was the last book you read?
Read? I don't remember!
What's something that fasinates you?
How people can be so ignorant.


(She stares at me as she says this. I clear my throat and continue.)

How would you celebrate your birthday?
No celebration whatsoever.

What is something that embarresses you?
Falling in love.


(I finish jotting down the last answer, then stand.)

Thank you for your time, Ms. LaCrone.
Just remember to throw those away. Burn them. K?


(I nod as she walks briskly out of the room. I then tuck the notepad safetly in my bag and walk out into the busy streets.)

 


Message to Readers

Any feedback would be fantastic. As long as someone is reading, I'm good.


Peer Review

"her hair is purposefully styled; she wants to hide her eyes"

I like that it reveals her personality just with that little detail.


when Ms. LaCrone said, "Burn them."

It reveals she's got some attitude as well as a few secrets to hide, which piques the readers' interest.


Reviewer Comments

The interesting title drew me in.

I found her last answer particularly interesting, "falling in love" and made me want to know more about Ms. LaCrone and her thoughts.

I feel that she's a mysterious person, and more of her backstory can definitely be fleshed out in a longer story. I really liked the slightly informal setting, it set me at ease while reading.

There were a few typo errors here and there, but all in all I found it an insightful piece into her character. Nice job!