"Can I have two tickets for the dance?"
The cheerleader standing behind the heart-and-candy-bedecked table shot her a Glare of Death.
"You have to buy at least three."
"Why?" the girl asked.
"Oh, c'mon. Do you live under a rock or something? There is a Two-Goat-Minimum for each person coming to the dance."
"But... what if I only have one goat?"
"Then next Friday is going to be a Netflix night for you."
"That's so unfair." In the girl's eyes, the velvet tablecloth drooped and the candy rotted.
"Well, it's the rule. Bring two goats or don't come at all."
"What about a goat and a calf?" The girl wrung her hands.
"What did Noah say? Two goats. We go by his word."
The girl stumbled away from the Noah's Ark High School Valentine's Dance table.
If only I had two goats, she thought.