Film ref nysm 3

Raiquia

Singapore

I am a 17 year old student that aims to pursue a career in screenwriting or writing in the future when I grow up. I especially wish to help those who are depressed

Message to Readers

This is a sci-fi story that i wrote and i hope to improve and publish as a novel so i would really appreciate some constructive criticism :)

Playing God

November 15, 2015

"I'm dying, Xero..Go..forget me. Just remember one thing.."
"What is it?"
"I..will always lo..ve..you."
"SURVIVORS OF THE APOCALYPSE, PLEASE QUICKLY REPORT TO THE LAST SHIP XP239, DEPARTING IN 10 MINUTES" 
"Goodbye mother..I love you..too.." 

Xero woke up from his sleep in a gasp, feeling tears on his cheeks, touching his eyes and wiping the remaining droplets away. The dream was so vivid, the memory of his mother and her dying words. He turned to look at his desk, a photo that was crumpled and placed neatly in a frame stared back at him. It was the only picture left of his mother before the grounds cracked open and Earth destroyed everything else. He sighed quietly and got up from his bed, his small robot KR34, nicknamed Tato by Xero for his cute potato looking structure, helping him get his clothes for the day. He had a meeting with the Government about the infrastructure of Kreptos. He looked out of his window and tapped it twice, the dark glass that was activated to block out sunlight in the morning, changing to translucent pale glass for him to look out easily. The world wasn't what it used to be anymore, on Kreptos it was all very high in technology, cars had no wheels as it merely flew on the roads, of course, it is controlled from going out of the roads, and unlike Earth, there was nowhere to have a farm. Food was made through technology. For example, hamburgers. Hamburgers were very popular on Earth, it was everywhere and anywhere. So in order to recreate the ever popular hamburger, technology had developed a type of machine that could recreate, imitate and mass produce. Xero was not in charge of the actual process of how it was done, however he did know that food was made with new chemicals found on Kreptos, and it would be transferred to an artificially intelligent machine that would process it and recreate the burger. The taste had been proven to have a 99.5% match with the original hamburgers.

Xero looked down and noticed some Hoodlums fighting amongst each other on a small alley. Hoodlums, the rebels of Kreptos who found fault in the way things were governed. Their significant hoods which cover their heads symbolized their rebellion against the Head of the body of society. He tapped the window five more times and zoomed in to watch. Kreptos was meant to be a compensation for the loss of Earth, everything was meant to be flawless and perfect, with everyone labeled with an ID and given a position in the Hierarchy depending on who they were, who their parents were, and how much Kredons (money) they owned. He sighed as he watched and noticed one particular male dominating the fight. Deciding he had seen enough, he placed his finger on the window panel and slid downwards, zooming out and closing the window, tapping twice and turning the window dark again. He turned to change into the clothes Tato was handing to him, Xero smiled slightly at the robot and changed, but it immediately faded as he remembered what he was going to bring up for the meeting. It really bothered him, the hierachy really irked him and pushed all the wrong buttons. It was simply just so full of fault and loopholes. He did not understand, just why did they have to be arranged according to the human structure? The fact that the 'Heads' and the 'Feet' had different statuses and different treatment already bothered him because was every human not equal? What about equal rights? What happened to those values that they once had on Earth? He knew these Hoodlums existed for a reason, and it was a problem that constantly bit at his conscience. 

Xero left his room and walked down, taking the elevator going down to meet the Government. All the Heads and Shoulders were meant to stay in a large building, Zephyr. He brushed his coat to the side and moved over to take his place at the table in the meeting room. “So…what are we meant to discuss today?” asked the right shoulder, Pliekris. Xero calmly put his hands together and thought deeply as he brought out the material and pressed the flat screen on the table and raised his hand, bringing out a hologram of a human. “As you all know, gentlemen. We are the Heads and Shoulders of our society. We do the important things and what is necessary to change the way we used to be. Our goal on Kreptos was to learn from the past and become a society able to thrive without mistakes. However,” he moved his hand and shifted it to the left, “as you see from this,” he showed a panel picture of the fighting in the streets of the Hoodlums, “we have here, a place that exists in the shadows of Kreptonia. There is clearly a fault in our system—I declare we chang-“ another male stepped up. Mikael, he always disliked Xero, and Xero was clearly aware of that. “Denied, Xero. You cannot be so stupid as to think you could simply change the system we spent years and years developing. You think this system came up so easily and was grown from nothing? You should know better, after all. You are the son of Ukai, one of the founders of Zephyr. Have you learned nothing from him? You are a disgrace to your family name.” Zion stood up from his seat, “Mikael hold your tongue, you do not need to bring family into this matter.” Xero sighed deeply, of course Mikael would hold discontentment with him, after all, he was the first head. Mikael was second to him, and Zion held the position of the third head. He looked at the Shoulders, Lexis and Pliekris. Everyone was thinking deeply,”but why now, Xero? When this system has been running this way, and those Hoodlums have existed for so long,” Lexis questioned him. Of course the matter would be questioned, he thought for a while, unsure if his answer was enough to get the approval. Xero placed his paper down and looked at them, “I believe that it is never too late to make a change. “ he said firmly and looked at the others, hoping to convince them, “Xero…even if you are the head of the heads, you must understand that your thinking is immature,” Zion quietly said, “Starting a change is a big project that must be thought for a longer period of time before it is put into action. Do you really believe we could destroy the existence of the dark alleys of Dexus?"
This is the introduction and the very first few paragraphs of the novel i have been writing.
The original name was "human gears", and essentially the plot was about how humans are organized and labelled as 'body parts', the Head, being the leader. 

Head, Shoulders, Arms, so on and so forth, there are leaders of each group which forms the general government. 
Hoodlums - those who wear hoods > Rebels against the hierarchy / Head with the symbol of the hood covering their heads
 

Print

See History

Login or Signup to provide a comment.