sparkdust

United States of America

isabella. she/they. nb sapphic.

Message from Writer

i want to show you everything in my words because when it comes down to hell and high water all i will have left in me at the end of it all will be my words

it's been a month since we broke up why am i still writing about you?

March 5, 2018

FREE WRITING

6
i'm cold. i'm so so cold, cold right down into my bones, into my heart. i've tried putting on sweaters and socks and slippers and all they do is cover me up and keep me quiet and dusty

i'm broken. i'm so so broken, broken right down into my heart, into my soul. i've tried laughing and throwing myself into anything else, flinging myself into my words, into my thoughts, into my laughter, into my distractions, but all it takes is one glance at you for my whole world to become just a meteor flinging itself around the sun, around you, you, you.

i think it's my fault that i let you crawl into the cracks in me; i think it's my fault that i let you grab me by the throat and give me that smile and put me in a trance; i think it's my fault that i keep going back to orbiting around you when you give me the slightest attention

part of me doesn't want to seal up my broken heart; part of me thinks that if i keep myself broken for you you'll come back and kiss over the damaged parts of my heart and heal me

i should move on. fling myself into other things the way i wish i could fling myself into your arms. put on sunglasses to block you out because you won't kiss my cracked heart, you won't hold my cold hand; feeling your phantom fingers around mine won't make anything better.

this isn't even a poem. i'm not writing poetry about you. it's just words that sound kinda nice; cause your voice saying my name always sounded kinda nice. it's just metaphors wrapped in similes; because you're the sun and the stars and what else do you do with the universe and words but make it sound nice? and anyways even if this was a sad heartbroken poem about you i don't think you'd read it.

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  • March 5, 2018 - 8:59pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • Dmoral13

    *your


    3 months ago
  • Dmoral13

    My favorite line is "i'm broken. i'm so so broken, broken right down into my heart, into my soul". I love how powerful yuor piece is. great work!


    3 months ago
  • New York_dreamer

    RELATABLE!! Almost in tears rn. Amazing work, beautiful job :)


    3 months ago
  • loveletterstosappho

    this is raw and visceral--i especially like the last paragraph because i think that of all of them, it's the most honest and unedited. since it's been over a year since you published this, i hope what's behind you is behind you.


    3 months ago