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Message to Readers

I want help with strengthening my first paragraph that will make the reader continue reading(hoping to be really emotional). The entire story is about bullying(fyi) if that helps.

What is the Real World?

November 5, 2015

The real world isn’t safe, the real world can’t protect you from anything, the real world can’t help you on a test, the real world isn’t like a story, there are circumstances that challenge the story line. At best you can say that the real world is like a father figure who doesn’t come back one day, and there is no changing that because he has found someone else to share his life with without his wife and son included in the picture; just so happens that my father left me to; I guess that means i’m living in the real world then, just my luck.
i'm seeking peer review, I want a strong emotional beginning paragraph that makes the reader continue reading.


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