Peer Review by The Dreamer (South Africa)

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The Assassin

By: Marerider


The wind howls through the bare trees making even the mightiest oaks sway and creak. Clouds race across the sky, black and angry. Lightning flickers and thunder booms, yet no rain falls. The solitary figure hurries along, the wind tugging at his long black cloak, underneath which a sword hangs. Daggers are concealed in his loose sleeves and slipped into his tall black boots. His face, hidden by a hood, holds a look of determination. 
    Suddenly, there is a sharp crack, and the sound of splintering wood. The figure glances up just in time to dodge the branch that comes crashing down behind him. He hurries on.
    Soon, he reaches a castle. The wall is of a dark stone and the castle itself looms black and threatening. The figure slips inside.
    Half an hour later he hurries again through the forest. Back in the direction he came from. The job is done, and while a little piece of him might have died along with his victim he will act as if he does not care. He will rise the next morning as if he is the same as he has always been. As if he has not lost another piece of himself. For others depend on his ability to complete these terrible deeds.

Just some thing that was inspired by the cold and wind outside. 

Message to Readers

Any and all thoughts welcome! Please let me know what you think!

Peer Review

I really like the first line because I see it as a metaphor ( I am not sure if that was your intention but...) The trees seem to me the people. And this assasin is one of the mighty oaks, even if he refuses to accept it he is swaying in the wind, just like everyone else. And the more observant people will see this, no matter how much he tries to hide it.

I am left with a great sympathy and sadness for the assasin. Why does he have to suffer so much because of others? And himself, really.

The one question I kept thinking as I read this was: How did you come up with all this just from watching the wind? You must have a great imagination!

Reviewer Comments

Well done! And I would honestly like to read more of this. Your descriptions are great and you have greated a deep character.