sparkdust

United States

isabella. she/they. nb sapphic.

Message from Writer

i want to show you everything in my words because when it comes down to hell and high water all i will have left in me at the end of it all will be my words

body (a dictionary of my own design; part 2/?)

March 12, 2018

FREE WRITING

7
bod·y
/ˈbädē/
noun

1. the physical structure of a person or an animal, including the bones, flesh, and organs.

2. i know some people have it worse. i know the curve of my spine is pretty tame, i know my skin is light enough that no one will try to shoot me unarmed. i know i can fit into clothing at stores. i know i can still see and hear and move. i know.

3. some days i like my body. i like the way my thighs are soft and the way my hair is wavy and the way my eyes look in the light. i like the way i tilt my head and i like the way i flap my hands and i even like the way i'm pudgy.

4. some days i hate my body. i hate the way my breasts are so prominent (even if they're small i swear they're a giant sign that reads GIRL GIRL GIRL), the way my face and hair gets greasy in only a few moments, the way my laugh is an awkward screech, the way my back is crooked and aching.

5. i want to rip out my hair some days. i want to claw off my skin some days. i want to take a sledgehammer to my heart and a jackhammer to my lungs and a chainsaw to my organs some days. i want to bleed ichor, bleed diamonds, bleed stardust some days. i don't ever bleed. i don't dare touch my body. i simply lay still and wait for the desire to rip myself to shreds to pass.
1. this is what the online dictionary gave me

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  • March 12, 2018 - 12:48pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • loveletterstosappho

    oh fuck this is incredible. the escalation from 1-5 is so well done and so intense. it's definitely different from the anger piece, but powerful in its own way.


    11 months ago