Of Scales And Song

PROMPT: Monster Flash Fiction Competition 2018

Made of monsters, made of stone.
It’s been a week since school started and the looks haven’t stopped. Of course they wouldn’t, what did I expect? But walking into maths halted my breath. Body frozen in motion. Conversation ceased; eyes forming a spotlight of blue, brown and green. Some called me a dragon, a snake, a reptile. But everyone knew me as monster. Instinctively, I let my long locks cover my face, ambling speedily to my seat. It shouldn’t be that easy to brush off. However, if scales covered your face for six years, you’d learn to deal with it.
Made of shadows, made of bones.
After a few minutes, the class returned to its state of disarray. A mess of noise and vibrant colours. But I couldn’t keep my gaze on the scene, my neck itchy. Turning, I realised that the boy sitting next to me had been intently staring. Pink flushed my cheeks as I matched his stare.
Made from magic, the unknown.
But this boy had no decency. At least when I returned others gaze, they’d snap their head away. Finding something to divert their attention to, excuses and heat flashing across their face. This guy didn’t look away or even flinch. Our skeptical eyes met. I’ve seen fear and concern, shame and anger. But I’ve never seen in all my years understanding.
He didn’t speak or let emotion paint his face. Only pushed his sleeve up to reveal the same criss cross, ragged scales that dorn my face. I sucked in a deep breath, my heart thundering. A lightness flared in me, brighter than any star in the sky. It was more than understanding, it’s knowing you weren’t the only one. It’s wondering whether you’re actually a monster.
Finally not alone.

Peer Review

What drew you into this story? How did the writer pique your interest?

It was the song lyrics. I actually jumped to the parts of the song, before I read it properly.

Flash fiction requires the writer to use the power of suggestion—planting an idea or question in the reader’s head without explaining fully. Where did the writer do this successfully?

At the end, where she meets someone like her. Gives the idea that although she hasn't seen others like her, they are around. If the story didn't end here I'm guessing we would know more about the "monster" community. (guessing the song has to do with a prophesy maybe)

Were there any places where maybe too much was left unsaid, leaving you confused?

I feel like it was explanatory enough, but the part when she talks about having the scales for 6 years indicates that she wasn't born with them as she's definitely older than 6 in the story. Is this a medical condition of some sort, or the result of surgery as a result of an accident? You can just give a little background if you have more words left.

What words of encouragement do you have for this writer as they continue drafting their story?

This is a good piece. Even better if the song was written yourself. Would definitely like to see a continuation of this.

Reviewer Comments

I love the ending, how it teaches that being different doesn't mean one is a monster. Although, being alone is hard, the ones that are meant to be with you will find you :)