Peer Review by Ella (United States)

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Of Colors and False Hues

By: Winter Galaxy

    We were the misfits. Those eccentric colorful ones who were rejected by the people who worshipped black and white.
Each of us were found as wanderers, lost in our minds. We had mixed origins, mixed opinions, and mixed appearances, but we moved as one. We were a nation. If counted, our numbers may leave us to be considered only a tribe, but the complexity of our society that hid under the top layer of chaos would fool most observers into believing us a simple folk. Just like themselves, but a bit different and therefore frowned upon. Those observers never stayed long. Nothing profound popped out at them, and so they moved on.
    They were always wrong about us, thankfully.
    Behind the worn cement walls, entangled in ivy and poisoned with a heavy air of post-apocalyptic pollution, we possessed something of the future. We all did. It pulsed and flickered and grew inside of us, infecting us and feeding on us. Imagine that! The freaks, owning what most would kill for if they could understand it. If you knew us well, you wouldn't be surprised.
It was a virus, but it was a gift. It floated in the air and we breathed it in, and we breathed it out. It infested us, it thrived in us, it took over our being and dominated the very center of our culture.
    It was humanity.
    No one knew what it could do.

Peer Review

The collective voice here really unifies the piece. It makes it clear that while this group may be outcasts and misfits, they are outcasts and misfits together. They are bound to each other, unified, not needing anyone else to understand them.

I would definitely like to know more about time and setting. It wasn't very clear while I was reading what was going on and where it was taking place. After a little while, I picked up on a post-apocalyptic world, then then near the very end, some kind of virus. Suddenly near the end your story takes a turn where it seems less about this band of misfits and more as if it's going to lead off into something about this virus. I'd like to know more about that, for certain.

Reviewer Comments

While your piece was interesting, I had a hard time understanding the trajectory. At first it seemed like it was about a band of outcasts, frowned upon by society, then it seemed to be about a virus. I was a little unclear on where it was going.

Overall, well done, very intriguing, and with a few edits this could really shine. Nice job.