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Lee Fudge

United States

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The Technical Guide to Being a Samurai: Chapter One

February 18, 2018

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Chapter One: Becoming a Samurai. 

If you are reading this guide, you either live in feudal Japan, your country is in a rather large civil war, or you just simply, for some reason, want to be a samurai. 

Whatever the case, you need help. This guide will teach you many things.

- How to find a master.
- How to obtain and keep honor.
- How to survive a battle.
- How to make a wonderful ramen bowl.

Let’s start with the very first thing you need to do: be born. You can not do anything without being born. Next you must grow to the age of 13 to 17. Then you must find a master.

A master will teach you literally everything in your life. They also be your father figure, regardless if you have a father. To find a master, you must do the flowing in the order said.

- Go to a nearby village.
- Stand on top of a tower and yell ‘I need a master!’.
- Get a noise complaint.
- Visit a temple, pray to the deity of your choosing.
- Have said deity shun you.
- Wonder where you parents are.
- Ask someone where you can find a master.

Once you find one, go to their place of residence. They will attack you. This is a introductory test, one that you will fail. If they see potential in you, they will offer dinner and a room.
 

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