Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is just a little excerpt, but I'm thinking of putting the complete work-in-progress (oh, that's a lovely oxymoron) up here, if this interests anyone. Constructive criticism is always greatly welcomed and appreciated!
The line "You can almost hear the sun shining" stands out to me, I love the way you have worded that! It's the perfect line to express your character, Kit's, opinion on what he's just experienced and to set the mood of the scene.
After reading your excerpt, I must say, I am dying to read more! I can tell that a romance may be developing between Kit and Cat (love the names, by the way). The park scene along with your fantastic descriptions of the world around them is quite romantic. It's just like Kit and Cat are in their own space, observing the world from afar, together.
How long have you been working on 'Ethereal' for?
I'd love to hear more about your progress in 'Ethereal' and more than anything, I'd love to read what you have so far! Great job :D