Peer Review by booksandcoffee (United States of America)()

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Emotional Wrecks: Chapter One

By: Lee Fudge


FREE WRITING

Anomalies are mostly charactized by a strange thing happening in the world. Be it a sudden lose of water in a lake, or a two-headed elephant, anomalies happen almost every day, mostly hidden from human view.

There are a few anomalies, however, that are human.

Danny, one of these anomalies, did decent in school. He was certainly no honor student; he was certainly no bad student. He was, on the outside, completely average. This was his first day at his new school, Gandalf High School.

“Well, kids,” The teacher, Mrs. Anderson, said,”We have a new student today. Say hello to Daniel Peters.”

Danny walked in, wearing a green sweatshirt and matching pants. He also had shoes of the same color. He wore this combination of clothing everyday. 

“Hello, Danny,” A kid said. Danny couldn’t tell who it was.

“Shut up!” Another kid said.

”He is a fashion don’t!” A girl yelled. 

“Now then,” Mrs. Anderson said,”Danny, tell us something about yourself.”

Danny just wanted to sit down. “Well,” He said,”I’m okay at archery.”

”Okay at it?” A kid asked.

”....Well just say my fish is no longer with us,” Danny said.

“Now, everywhere ask a question to Danny,” Mrs. Anderson,”Learn more about him.”

”You just don’t want to teach today, do you?” Danny asked.

”Obviously,”

”I can respect that,”

”All right,” Mrs. Anderson said, picking up a book,”Start with Benny, then go right.”

Th aforementioned Benny got up. “So, you like TV?”

”Sure, I watch it when I can.” Danny said.

”What’s your favorite show?” Benny asked.

“Bear Bearman: Canadian Superhero,” 

“Really? It went down in quality since season four.”

“That’s a fair statement, but hey, Gooseman’s still a good antagonist.”

”True,” Benny sat down. The next kid, Richard go up.

”Where are you from?” He asked.

”Vancouver,” Was the awnser.

”And what made you move to Nerd City?” Richard asked.

”My dad got a job here,”

Danny awnsered many questions, such as his favorite food (Lasagna), his favorite uperhero (Procrastination Man), and his favorite video (Where Justin Trudeau falls own stairs).

When he left school that day, he was blocked by a large student.

”Hey, there’s a toll to pass,” He said simply.


Message to Readers

Any feedback is great.


Peer Review

I really like the line "Danny, one of those anomalies, did decent in school." The dichotomy between Danny being irregular in some way and yet being mediocre in school is so interesting and such a great way to pull in the reader and make them keep reading.


I'm left wanting to read even more of the story! The way that you set up the character of Danny and the place of Nerd City makes the story so intriguing. I'm left feeling so eager to read more and to see what happens next, because I already am interested in the main character and in the plot.


Why is Danny an anomaly? I know that this question will probably be revealed later on in the book, but I'm so curious to know now! I'm also wondering about Nerd City - the name of the high school is Gandalf High School, so maybe that's some indication of what things are like at Nerd City, but I would like to know more about what it's like living there, which I'm sure will also be revealed later in the book. I'm really interested in learning more about both Danny and about Nerd City, which is an indication that the author does a great job of introducing their story in a way that makes the reader eager to continue reading.


Reviewer Comments

Great job with this Chapter! The story was set up really well, and I can't wait to read more!