Peer Review by Titi (Nigeria)

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By: Kahasai

It's said that it came from the ocean. What's known for sure is that it comes with the rain.
    People are terrified of it. That is understandable. It would be terrifying for you if it was your child who disappeared.
    It is called many things. Spirit, specter, will-o'-the-wisp. It prefers the name Chenquin.

The Chenquin comes at night with the darkest of storms. It hides in the resonance of raindrops and its voice is the sound of wind over water. In its body are trapped screams, almost impossible to hear. Just its watchful gaze is enough to make a child sit up straight and listen.
    The Chenquin guides the child down streets, over wood and stone. They travel until they reach the sea. The Chenquin goes out into the ocean with its silent screams, trusting the child to follow.
    At this point the child may hesitate and turn back. He may wander lost for a few days until he is found. He would return to bed and pretend it was all a dream. Never again would he hear the sound of the ocean.
    Or the child may follow the Chenquin into the cold, dark water.
    Come, whispers the Chenquin as the child begins to drown. It takes the child's ghost and guides him to the surface. Lost, confused, the child would wander the seas, crying for help.

For every child lost, another scream disappears from the Chenquin. Some say if enough screams disappear, the Chenquin will return to what it was: a little boy, cursed and lost at sea, just trying to find his family.


Message to Readers

Thank you everyone who reviewed this piece. I'll get to reviewing yours, I promise. It just may take a few more days.

Peer Review

I wondered what a Chenquin was, and decided to check it out.

from the story the chenquin seems like a water spirit that lures children into the ocean, and strikes when rain falls.

Can the Chenquin be seen either by children alone or everyone? Can it communicate with the children?, or is it just compulsion? I'm just curious.

It's a good monster to be created. It's ranked up there with the possible stories told to children to keep them indoors.

Reviewer Comments

It's a good believable story in the monster genre.