Peer Review by Suri Purefoy (United States of America)()

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Homes Gone, They Travel On

By: DragonMasterFox


    They say that the wilderness is beautiful and shall never be touched. It’s true, but the problem is the ones who say this manipulate it. You’d believe, that because they state this, they’d never come to harm the forest. Now, that’s untrue. I should know, I was one of the many thrown from my home like your kind throws waste. Your metallic creatures swallow trees whole with their glittering teeth. You follow behind, pointing at what remains of nature, making sure every scrap is destroyed. It’s as if the woodland is screeching in our ears and you have placed muffs of ignorance over your head. Thuds of the ancient oaks and birches falling to the ground echo the land like a herd of beasts.
    We watch, from a long distance, as the place we once lived in is slowly torn apart. Everything collapses, slowly but surely, like waves rolling over the sand, leaving nothing behind. Serenity and balance is this place no more, its calm personality has been ripped away. All that’s left is the shadow of a once flourished area. That day, as I stood on a distant hilltop, joined by my surviving allies, I realized that you humans may speak promises, but that never meant you’d keep true to your heart. Your lockbox of pledges has been burned and thrown into the ashes of greed.
    That day, we were left to our own devices, barely following our wilted leader. He kept his head high, but in his eyes was the pain of the dying forest seen not so long ago. With minds full of heavy dread, we took our first steps away from the disaster, our first breath without a sense of safety. Open fields are all that is left, something that may be destroyed as soon as we leave. We leave imprints in the grass and ground as our heads bow, lost in misery. Each step is a reminder that our homes are gone, that we must travel on.     

I genuinely have no idea what this is. I wanted to make it from a perspective of a herd of dear, with the humans destroying the land. For some reason, I wanted to make this small series, which I might do, I don't know. Just kind of barfed this out so I had some content, lmao. 

Message to Readers

I really have no idea what this, I'm serious

Peer Review

"humans may speak promises, but that never meant you'd keep true to your heart...your lockbox of pledges has been burned and thrown into the ashes of greed." Definitely quote-worthy. It's so true, and the way you worded it was like a cool stab to the heart. It made me ponder and agree.

Sorrow, sadness, for the deer and their lost home. But you gave it just the right amount of grief and empathy that it wasn't just sad, but it made me remember and want to do something to stop the forests from being destroyed for the sake for the sake of these deer(and all of them, of course).

What inspired you to write this? Just curious— it's packed with so much meaning and chilled emotions, it's gorgeous!

Reviewer Comments

Major kudos to you, my friend! This is an amazing, beautiful, and heart-wrenching piece! You are very talented! The way you piece words together, and fit your meaning into the "simply complex"paradox of feelings and senses took my breath away!
I didn't realize the story was about deer until I read your comment underneath. Great job! It kept me wondering and gave a whole new meaning when they were deer, not humans(that was my misconception, sorry)
Keep it up!
-Suri =)
(P.S. I think this would be a great piece to enter into the Environmental Writing contest that just opened— that is, if you would be interested. It's a great, deep take on nature! Great job!)