Peer Review by Madalynn.Goh (United States)

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By: Kennedy Johnson


Wallet, ID, phone, charger. These are the things most people in my generation would choose to carry with them if they were forced out of their homes. Someone once asked what I would carry if I had to make this decision, and I’m not gonna lie, I thought about taking my phone, but then I thought about the bigger picture; who am I leaving behind? When will I return? WILL I return? It’s hard to say what exactly I’d bring, because when you live in America, you tend to forget how privileged you are. We don’t have think about these things, but people in places with warfare and poverty, this is something that they have to think about everyday. They never know when they are going to have to leave everything behind. For some reason, many Americans hate refugees. They think they are unintelligent, juvenile, or a nuisance to society. People don’t realize that we need people like refugees. They are one of the strongest people on Earth, because they left loved ones behind, left their jobs, and left their previous lives behind. All of this in an effort to simple live. People come to America to have a better life. For so many people on the planet, living in America is their dream, and for us to not allow someone to fulfil their dream is selfish and wrong. In America, we have clothes, shoes, public schools, hospitals, doctors, public transportation, and clean water. All of these things are privileges that we sometimes take for granted. People who live in African countries face the greatest amount of poverty, people in Afghanistan have been living in a war zone for the last 60 years, and people who live in areas where the Taliban is prominent cannot get an education or jobs. Currently in South Africa, citizens who are white are afraid to leave their homes, fearing that they will be assaulted or killed, and farming is the most dangerous job to have. As you close your eyes to go bed, somewhere in the world, someone is waking up at three in the morning to find out they must leave their home immediately or face prison or even death. As you wake up to go to school or work, realize that somewhere in the world a child is dreaming of being in a classroom with all their friends, and adults are trying to figure out they will make it through the week without the money to buy food. Right now, at this very moment someone is praying to God that they won’t have to leave their family, that their children will get an education, and that someday they can live as comfortably as we do in America. We don’t think about these things, because we don’t have to. Even though it’s not happening to us, we can’t forget that somewhere else, it is.

Message to Readers

I would like feedback on my diction and organization.

Peer Review

"It’s hard to say what exactly I’d bring, because when you live in America, you tend to forget how privileged you are." This line stood out to me the most because I realized that you were right.

After reading this I feel grateful for all of the things that I used to not notice that I have in my life.

What would you take?

Reviewer Comments

You could make the title Refugee or Privilege . I feel that this titles help to summon what point you are trying to get across.