Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

Caterpillars and Butterflies

By: Positively Parker


 “You see, I don’t want to be a butterfly.” She spoke quietly to herself, not saying much as she stared at the caterpillar on her windowsill. Her window was wide open, and it caused for the small little bug to be there beside her. It was dark out, but there was a full moon out to illuminate her small apartment room. “Why? That’s simple.” She hummed before she began to answer the unasked question. “I don’t want to change. I hate change. Especially something that big. Changing from something you’ve always known to something new…” She sighed, her breath making a small cloud that disappeared like every good thing in her life. The caterpillar just continued to make his way around the white painted wood. “You have such a perfect life. Why change? Why do anything different than what you’re doing now? You are great at what you do. You inch your way around the world, satisfied with who you are, and then life changes you. It gives you wings. A new thing to try to figure out what to do with them. You may try to get rid of your wings, you may wish that you never went through that change, but no matter what, you will always be a butterfly; no longer a caterpillar.” Maybe what she was saying was too deep for such a little insect to understand, but just having that little friend by her side gave her comfort in a way that people never did. She would rather talk to a good listener than to someone who could just hear. “But I’m changing… tell me little one, how do I stop it? How do I stop from becoming what so many people wish to be? Why don’t I want to adjust, when everyone else wishes to have the chance to have what I don’t want…?” A lone tear dropped down from her glossy eyes that were holding in bottled up emotions. It left a clear trail as it fell down her pale cheek, slipping right past her quivering lips that were so desperately trying to hold in sobs. “I don’t want to be a butterfly… I want to stay a caterpillar like you…” The caterpillar didn’t even look up at her before walking out of the windowsill and out of her life, just like everyone else.

Peer Review

'The caterpillar didn’t even look up at her before walking out of the windowsill and out of her life, just like everyone else.' - This shows me what her life is like. I love this piece so much because the protagonist is talking to something that can't talk back to her. You can have so many feelings while doing this. Getting your words out into the open make things more real. You did a great job on this!

Lonliness. I think everyone feels like this sometimes. I also feel sad because this woman doesn't want to see what's coming up in her future. I know that the future can be scary at times, but you know, a second ago, you were living in the past. Now you're in the present. And in another second, you'll be into the future. Which is a funny thing to think about. This feeling of not wanting to grow-up is very relatable. We don't want things to change. We don't want to finish high-school, because college seems dark and foreboding. We don't want to have to buy everything that we need. And yet we all must move on. God will equip us with what we need as we grow up in His world.

Are these your thoughts? Or did you simply have inspiration to use empathy? (This is typically the reason for me). ;)

Reviewer Comments

Very well done! Your title was intriguing, and made me want to read more.
One note: You may want to separate this into a few paragraphs so that it's easier to read.
Besides that, great job!
God bless!