Peer Review by Suri Purefoy (United States)

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Petunia

By: Stewart Worthington


FREE WRITING

Bill, the lonely computer programmer, spent his days drowning in his loneliness, munching on lettuce leaves and doing the one thing he did best, programming. Yet this excellence did not do him any favors for the 'friends category' . So consequently he sits with peels of green lurking in the depths of his stomach, his dull brown eyes becoming squarer and squarer as he moves closer and closer to the light of his screen, and absolutely soaked in the depression of his isolation. In the defence of his employers he isn't completely alone, he has Petunia. Ah, Petunia. Bill's eyes were too contemplated on his screen to view the beauty the Petunia did hold. Her too good to be true blue eyes, her luscious brown locks, and a generous smile that remained her face every second of the day. Perhaps it was just that, her beauty, that turned Bill away. Perhaps that she could type a thousand words a minute, clearly upholding Bill's score of 50. Or perhaps, no it couldn't be, perhaps it was the suttle fact that Petunia was a robot. 

"Good morning, Bill," Petunia would greet Bill with her usual face, on each usual morning. And with no surprise, Bill remains response-less, then turns on his laptop and types. Little did Bill know, Petunia was the ultimate robot of 2050, the greatest scientific breakthrough of mankind, she had feelings. Some would say these feelings should be used to address nation wide problems, others would say they should be used to take over the world, but, by having her own feelings, Petunia could choose for herself, and she did just that. Petunia had feelings for Bill. 

 


Message to Readers

This is the beginning of a short novel I am writing. I would love advice and suggestions to be able to improve what I have so far so I can continue working on it. Thank you in advance for reading!


Peer Review

I don't know why, but I really, really loved the "peels of green lurking in the depths of his stomach,". It's just such a beautiful wording that it fit so perfectly into this story!


A little giddiness. Sad that Bill doesn't realize, but kind of happy to know that even though Petunia's a robot, she has something for him.


Do you have more? I would love to read more of this and know if Bill comes-to, or what happens to them, if anything changes!


Reviewer Comments

Stewart, this piece of your writing is truly awesome! I love your wording and how you put everything together so perfectly.
I wasn't expecting most of the events, but in the best way! It made it intriguing and left me wanting to know more, wanting to read more. You have successfully accomplished something that every writer wants to have. Great job!