Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is the beginning of a short novel I am writing. I would love advice and suggestions to be able to improve what I have so far so I can continue working on it. Thank you in advance for reading!
I don't know why, but I really, really loved the "peels of green lurking in the depths of his stomach,". It's just such a beautiful wording that it fit so perfectly into this story!
A little giddiness. Sad that Bill doesn't realize, but kind of happy to know that even though Petunia's a robot, she has something for him.
Do you have more? I would love to read more of this and know if Bill comes-to, or what happens to them, if anything changes!
Stewart, this piece of your writing is truly awesome! I love your wording and how you put everything together so perfectly.
I wasn't expecting most of the events, but in the best way! It made it intriguing and left me wanting to know more, wanting to read more. You have successfully accomplished something that every writer wants to have. Great job!