Glytch Montoya

United States

I've been writing short stories and poems independently for a while now. In fact, whenever I get the chance, I work on my short stories, for which I use the word "short" VERY loosely. I'm looking forward to seeing your opinions!

Message to Readers

Warning: I usually like to write pieces that have some humor and liveliness in them. This is not one of those.

Dearest Brother...

January 28, 2018

FREE WRITING

7
...
...
...
...hello, brother. 
It's been quite a long time... 
We haven't seen each other
Since the eve of wartime. 
We haven't spoken since
I committed that crime. 
I am sorry...
I wish we had more time... 

Nobody else could see you
the way I always did... 
But no one else even tried to, 
Even when you were a kid... 
You were teased, and so was I, 
but I would always have your back. 
Even with...
The greater strength I lack... 

To me, the world had always seemed
like a big and scary place, 
but for you, it all was just as you dreamed
with a smile on your face. 
I have even tried to smile, too, 
but it's not quite the same,
I just wish... 
That I was not to blame... 

...hello, brother. 
It's been quite a long time... 
We haven't seen each other
Since the eve of wartime. 
We haven't spoken since
I committed that crime. 
I am sorry...
I wish we had more time... 

My soul is full of darkness, 
while yours was full of light. 
and nobody else would ever ask me 
if I really was alright. 
But I knew I could always count on you, 
you're the only one that cared. 
I just wish... 
That we both had been prepared... 

The others went to war
but you had tried to keep the peace. 
But then they hit and beat and broke down your door 
and the hardships only increase. 
In a fit of anger, I shot at them 
with all of my might. 
Then I looked... 
And you were filled with fright... 

...hello, brother. 
It's been quite a long time... 
We haven't seen each other
Since the eve of wartime. 
We haven't spoken since
I committed that crime. 
I am sorry...
I wish we had more time... 

Now that you're gone, 
I feel like I lost my way... 
There's no one else who will ask 
if I'm really okay. 
I love you and I miss you, 
and know I always will 
I just wish... 
It was me they had to kill... 

It's gotten very quiet
ever since you went away, 
I will never here again 
that old rhyme you'd always say: 
"Now now, brother, dearest, don't you cry,
don't shed another tear, 
do not worry, 
for your brother is right here." 

...my dearest brother...
It's been quite a long time... 
We haven't seen each other
Since the eve of wartime. 
We haven't spoken since
I committed that crime. 
I am sorry...
I wish we had more time... 

I am sorry... 
I wish... we had... more... time... 
I can't believe I wrote this... I watched a certain YouTube video, a music video based on a certain ending of a certain game... And near the end... I just started crying... I couldn't stop... The video... It made me so sad... I needed an outlet... Fortunately, I had the Write the World site open in another tab, so I just clicked on "Start Writing," and I let my hands go where they wanted to go... 

For the melody, click here

(Just for the record, this time, I'm still up because I'm a bit of a regular insomniac... I do still have homework though. Good thing it's... It was Saturday... It might still be Saturday for some of you...) 

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33 Comments
  • Glytch Montoya

    ...Who said anything about stalking me...?
    (Suspiciously specific denial?)

    (Only joking.)


    over 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    I only needed your time zone so I would know what time 3 am was in my time zone (not trying to stalk you)


    over 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    I wouldn't need any more than that. Anyway, it was not 3 am. It was 1 am. I would not be here at 3 because I have to wake up at 6:30. I have been up until three before doing HW (or working and then not being tired and laying in bed for a long time).


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    I'm in CST. Central Standard Time. I'm not getting any more specific than that.


    over 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    This is not about the song: What time zone are you in?
    (to Glytch)


    over 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    Hey! I commented on the song (and, well, your comment about the comments not being about the song), and I commented on the footnote (so technically not part of the song).


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    Yeah, they're called ellipses, but most people find that calling them the "dot-dot-dot" makes more sense.
    Thank you for the comment, and THANK YOU A LOT for actually commenting on the song itself, rather than commenting on the other comments.


    over 2 years ago
  • rainandsonder

    Wow, this is really good! I love the repetitiveness of it, it adds to the tone of the piece, and the use of the ... thingies (ellipses, I think they're called?) is great too, especially at the end. I love sad angsty things. Great work!


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    Ooooh cool :)


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    I can see that. Unless you sent that from a different time zone or something, those comments were sent at about 3am! Was it 3am?

    Also, yes, I would like this song's comment section to actually discuss the song a little bit. That would be nice.
    (I'm thinking of running some parallels between the song and one of my stories... I'm not gonna say which one, though...)


    over 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    And I am totally an insomniac too :S


    over 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    So you wanna talk about the song? It's really good. It truly is. And cool melody to go with it.


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    Seriously!? I pity you. I hope it won't take that long for me (Which it probably will) :/ My mom wouldn't even let me on the Internet until I was 13 :/ (*Sigh* First world problems)


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    And still, most of these aren't even about the song...


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    Here I am. I'm 16 (going on 17), and I'm still not allowed to have a YouTube channel. Tons of my friends had YouTube channels at the ages of 13 or so, and I'm still not allowed. I can't even have social media!


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    I can't have a youtube channel either. It's kinda pathetic how some 5 year old kids have youtube channels yet I'm not allowed. :/


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    ...I just realized that most of these comments aren't even about the song!


    over 2 years ago
  • LackingASocialLife

    hah me neither (I've got one anyway, I didn't actually realise I made one... oops :l)


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    Great!
    (...I am not allowed to have a YouTube channel yet, unfortunately...)


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    That's an awesome idea LackingASociaLife. Dude if you actually make that video and post it on youtube I will watch it.


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    Yeah...
    Yeah! Of course! That's a wonderful idea!
    ...
    (Now I just need to get better at drawing...)


    over 2 years ago
  • LackingASocialLife

    You could do a lyric video with some drawings of those thing and a simple animation.
    THEN, when your super rich and famous because hey why wouldn't you be, you use that money and support to make the music video


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    ...I guess you're right...
    ...But how am I going to get a battlefield, a beaten up house interior, AND a graveyard? AND enough actors with the actual ability to act?


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    Yeah I was picturing this song with an animated video in my head too, but they are really hard and just as expensive believe it or not. (Trust me I've tried) If you're seriously planning on doing a music video, a live action one might be a more realistic plan.


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    I was thinking more along the lines of "animation," since the scene I have pictured in my head is a bit difficult (and expensive) to do live-action on a nonexistent budget.


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    They're actually really easy to make. My sister just got a simple music video maker app on her phone and we made one, and It turned out great. The only thing is she used a go pro so it might not look as great filmed on a phone rather than a camera.


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    ...I've actually been thinking about trying to make some kind of music video to go with this, but there's one major problem:

    I don't know how to make a music video.


    over 2 years ago
  • LackingASocialLife

    Ayy! Another insomniac. Welcome to the crew :|
    I swear, this is the sort of song that if it played in the sad scene of a movie or on the radio I'd just be like "Damnit not again" as my haRdCoRe ToUGh SHeLL StArTs MElting away and I start drowning in my own tears...


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    Yeah, there must be something wrong with my tear ducts. :) Oh and I'm 14.


    over 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    @Foxmillionaire! really? Seven years? So I know you can't be 13...


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    Even I felt a little dampness in my eye, and I haven't cried in seven years. You did a good job. :)


    over 2 years ago
  • Glytch Montoya

    Every time I read through this, I start tearing up halfway through the eighth stanza if I haven't already...
    ...
    Why are all of my original songs so sad...?


    over 2 years ago
  • -Foxmillionaire-

    Cool melody. :)


    over 2 years ago