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Glytch Montoya

United States

I've been writing short stories and poems independently for a while now. In fact, whenever I get the chance, I work on my short stories, for which I use the word "short" VERY loosely. I'm looking forward to seeing your opinions!

Message to Readers

Part 2! New characters! New setting! MORE NEW, MORE NEW, MORE NEW! (Don't worry, I probably won't do that "new new new" thing every time...)

Atom Shift (2)

January 13, 2018

FREE WRITING

2
[WARNI-... Well, I was going to say WARNING, and give that usual warning about "read the first one first" and "there may be spoilers," but the first one is just an introduction for the main character, so really, nothing big has happened yet. However, still, you should read them in order, just to be safe.] 

[SETTING: Weldington High School. 3:00pm. A Friday in January.] 
[Opens with the sound of a school bell ringing, signalling the end of the school day. The commons start filling with students, either on their way to carpool, going to the parking lot to get their vehicles, waiting for after-school clubs and activities to begin, or just hanging out.] 
[TOMMY walks out the door, accompanied by JAX. JAX is roughly TOMMY's age and height, with black hair, grey eyes, and the beginnings of a mustache growing. They both have their backpacks on their backs, and JAX is, as he and TOMMY call it, "speaking in hands," apparently having an intelligent conversation with TOMMY.] 

[TOMMY]: ...Yeah, I get what you're saying, but I just don't think powering this thing with 2000 double A batteries is very energy efficient. Even if they are crazy cheap. 

[JAX makes more hand signals. While this is happening, we see JANE SHARP, a girl around TOMMY's age, walk up behind them. JANE is about TOMMY's height and has long blonde hair, brown eyes, glasses, and dimples. In addition to her own backpack, she is carrying a book, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in her hand.] 

[TOMMY]: ...Yeah, yeah, I know. "Everything runs on double A's these days," but that's the problem! I need a fuel source that's efficient and inventive. Don't you thi-
[JANE]: Hey, guys! 
[TOMMY]: GAH! 

[TOMMY jumps and turns around, startled. JAX also turns around, much calmer than TOMMY, but still a bit startled as well. Once TOMMY sees that it's JANE, he starts getting nervous, blushing a little.] 

[TOMMY]: Oh, uh, h-hey, Jane. Sorry, you, uh, you startled me. 
[JAX makes a few hand signals.] 
[TOMMY]: Jax says "What's up?" 
[JANE]: Oh, not much, thanks for asking, Jax. How about you? 
[JAX makes some different hand signals.] 
[TOMMY]: Jax says "Not much, really." 
[JANE]: Huh. Oh, Tommy, you forgot your book. 
[JANE holds the book out to TOMMY, who takes it.] 
[TOMMY]: Oh, uh, th-thanks, Jane. 
[JANE]: I'll be honest, I read a little bit of it while I was walking over here. This is a pretty good book! 
[TOMMY]: Yeah, it certainly is, heh heh... 
[TOMMY and JANE stand there for a moment, just looking at each other.] 
[JANE]: Well, I've gotta go. Gotta get a head start on my Chemistry homework. See ya! 
[TOMMY]: S-see ya! 

[JANE walks past them, starting to walk home. TOMMY watches her as she leaves, still blushing.] 
[JAX nudges TOMMY with his elbow and begins to make some hand signals, but TOMMY brushes his hands to the side, annoyed.] 
[TOMMY]: Put you're hands down, I know I'm blushing. 
[JAX makes some more hand signals.] 
[TOMMY]: ...Yeah, I know I've had a crush on her since the 8th grade. So? 
[JAX makes some more hand signals, gesturing towards TOMMY and JANE a few times.] 
[TOMMY]: ...What? No, I can't do that! You know how I get. I can't even talk to her without getting all nervous. Besides, look at her. She's way out of my league... 
[JAX makes some other hand signals.] 
[TOMMY]: ...Yes, of course I want to ask her to the dance, but, well, you saw me just now! 
[JAX makes more hand signals.] 
[TOMMY]: ...Yeah, that's a good point... Alright, fine. I'll do it. I just need to figure out how to do it. 
[JAX makes some more hand signals.] 
[TOMMY]: ...Really? You'll help me? 
[JAX nods.] 
[TOMMY]: Thanks, Jax! You're the man! The man who speaks in hands! 
[TOMMY and JAX high-five each other, and keep walking, heading towards a bike rack. JAX unhooks his bike and gets on it, putting his helmet on.] 
[TOMMY]: See ya around, Jax! We can video chat later! 
[JAX gives TOMMY a thumbs-up, and he starts pedaling away. Once JAX turns a corner out of sight, TOMMY runs back to the school and into the bathroom. Thankfully, there's nobody else in there. TOMMY then focuses, and teleports home.] 
Part 2! We are introduced to some new characters and stuff! Let me know if you want an explanation of what Jax said. Also, if there's anything else you want to say, say it! (I like getting comments.) 

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  • January 13, 2018 - 5:51pm (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • Glytch Montoya

    True...
    ...Unless you can't "speak in hands." Otherwise, you have to be VEEEEEERY patient with him.


    over 1 year ago
  • f l o r a

    Jax seems like a pretty cool dude to have around!


    over 1 year ago
  • Lee Fudge

    This is pretty great.


    over 1 year ago