Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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The Twilight Hour

By: AlienFromPluto


It is the twilight hour
The twilight hour,
The deadly eerie twilight hour,
The hour of which the forest glows violet
And creatures both big and small fall silent,
The hour of which a curse takes place
Leaving you in a void of empty space,
The hour of which the wise dread
And fools unite with their dead,
The hour of which you know to stay home
But curiosity lures you out to go roam,
The hour of which the towns people all fear
Only the brave peek for they dare,
The hour of which mystery hangs in the air
And children are told to always keep near,

A beautiful lady sweeps the valley 
As swift as the wind and as strong as a ralley,
She is cloaked in silks of purple sky
Her hair so black you know you will die,
One look is soul sucking
One touch inflicts death
It is the twilight
She is the twilight
The deadly eerie twilight hour
 

As a first poem I don't think this is sooooooo bad of a story, however it isn't that good either... owo
Still I hope you found this some what entertaining.
Thanks for reading!
 

Message to Readers

Constructive feedback. Also if you enjoyed this then (maybe) an encouraging comment?


Peer Review

'She is the twilight The deadly eerie twilight hour' - It's hard to choose just one favorite line. ;) I love how you end on an 'eerie' note. You use vivid descriptions to give us a picture of the subject of this poem.


By using words such as 'twilight, eerie, silent, death, etc.' You do a great job of using your descriptions to draw me in and really tune into what's happening.


Reviewer Comments

You did a fantastic job on this poem! I love the descriptions (as I'm sure you've guessed by now ;) ), and how you describe lady twilight grips your reader.
Please keep writing! You're doing great. :D
God bless!