Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Any feedback is great.
I liked where you portrayed the Commander's panic after realizing that the plan was going wrong. The descriptive words you used really allowed me to imagine him going into a state of code red. Fantastic.
I am interested to see where this is going to go.
Are there going to be many characters we focus on, or is there going to a singular character? This was slightly unclear.
I saw some grammatical mistakes that I commented on. I believe this story is a good idea, however, learning from personal experience, make sure you have a goal in each chapter you want to reach. Otherwise, you may grow bored.