Peer Review by ALangford (United Kingdom)

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Distractions

By: Aliza101


FREE WRITING

Everybody at some point has something they use to distract themselves from many things, whether it be the stresses of life or the procrastination of not doing their homework. 

I have many distractions and some work better then others. One day my fidget cube is my knight in a square plastic armour, the next it could be sweet lyrics being whispered through my ears talking to the demons in my head, from whatever song is playing on my phone. 

My distractions usually make me introverted or anti social but to be perfectly honest, I don’t care what they make me, they help me to get through normal daily life and without my little distraction I’d be on the brink of insanity every five minutes. 


Message to Readers

Any grammatical errors, paragraphing, how I could make it better.


Peer Review

'My distractions usually make me introverted or anti social but to be perfectly honest, I don’t care': I like this line: it removes the potential misconception of the reader in thinking that this piece is in some way apologetic. We're all human, we all require distraction and we all need some time to be alone; you don't see any reason to apologise or justify that. We all put so much undue pressure on others to put on a social mask, when we know ourselves how commonly we feel too fragile to do just that. This line celebrates the notion that it's not necessary to put on this disguise around people.


It links to my point above, but I really relate aspects of myself to this piece. Especially the bit about the different degrees of needing distraction: sometimes a fidget cube is enough to distract you but sometimes you need powerful music pumping through your ears to really save you from what's inside your head. This is a really universal feeling which you captured really well.


Why did you want to express this in a piece of writing? This is a really interesting piece and was very enjoyable to read, but it's not a typical topic for a short piece of writing: it's rather unconventional. Why do you think it's important to express character traits like this in your works?


Reviewer Comments

I was wondering if you'd ever considered writing dramatic monologues or anything similar, perhaps in a script. The conversational tone you've used, as well as the very subtle aspects you've revealed of character, made this something that I feel would work especially well being delivered by someone, maybe on stage. You could consider this.
But otherwise, well done - this was really well-written and engaging from start to finish. I hope to see more of your work on the site in future!