It was December third, the day of my first dance recital in two years. I was full of so much emotion. I quit dancing the year before because my life was so overwhelming at the time. But at the beginning of the summer, I decided things had calmed down enough and I missed dancing so much, I went back to my studio. When I returned, I had so much to prove. I had to prove to my teachers they made the right decision taking me back, and to my fellow classmates, that I could handle it and wouldn't slow the classes down. It took me a while, but I finally got the hang of things. Then the owner of the studio announced we were performing a Christmas recital. I knew this would be the perfect time to get back on stage and prove to them I was still a good performer.
I got to the high school where we would be performing at 9:30 in the morning. I went back to my dressing room and found the costume that had been assigned to me the week before. I touched up my stage makeup and put the costume. It was a lavender dress with a long tutu. I slipped on and tied my pointe shoes, then put my headpiece in. I remember being so filled with excitement, I wanted to scream. I helped some of the little kids get ready, then went into the auditorium and waited for the dress rehearsal to start. I waited for at least forty-five minutes before my teacher called me and my classmates backstage. Being on stage made me beam with joy. During the whole song, I didn't even think of the steps, I was just so happy to be there. We went and took a picture, then prepared for the real show.
We all got ready together in a tight and very loud dressing room, we were with kids as young as four. Then we waited. I waited about twenty minutes, then went back stage with my class. I put rosin on pointe shoes, so I wouldn’t slip, and reviewed my dance in my head. When it was time to go on, I was filled with nerves. I love being on stage, but it can be scary. I ran onto the stage facing the back, I couldn’t see the audience at all. When the music began, I turned around and saw at least two-hundred people. I immediately looked for my family. My mom and brother we sitting on the right side of the stage in the front row and my grandparents the opposite. The two minute dance was over in what seemed like only a couple seconds. I ran off the stage proud, knowing I did the best I could, and excited for the next show.
I went into the lunchroom of the high school after taking off my costume and placing it nicely on my chair. I ate Panera during my hour and a half break, then returned to the dressing room. I put my costume and pointe shoes back on, then stretched my feet. My closest friend in the dance was having trouble finding her costume after she laid it down on her chair as well. I helped her look for a couple minutes before realizing, the costume I had on was NOT mine. I freaked out, my mind went crazy. The costume I had on was in the same place as the one I wore during the first show, and had my name in it, but I knew it was not my costume because it was way to big on me. I marched into the dressing room and asked all my classmates what happened. Everyone was willing to talk and help me except one of my old friends, who, recently, didn't seem that invested in our friendship. All the other costumes didn't fit, so I knew she had mine. I knew mine by looking at it because it had the tutu was sewn in three places while most only in two. The dance mom who assigned the costumes was watching the show during this performance and none of the other moms believed me because it had me name in it. There was a full on civil war happening in the dressing room, some girls believed me while others called me a liar. I had to go one stage in a costume I was uncomfortable wearing. I decided to do something about it, and started pinning the costume to make it manageable. Somehow along the way, I accidentally cut open my neck and was bleeding everywhere without noticing, until a really nice dance mom came, got me a band-aid, and helped me finish pinning the costume.
I made it through the dance, but it was not fun. after I got off stage the mom who gave me my costume came into the dressing room to look at them. She took one look at the one I had on and knew it was my old friends due to a stitch on the left side on the tutu. She marched toward the girl, very unhappy, and told the girl to give me my costume back. She told my mom, the girl intentionally switched the costumes. I couldn't believe someone I used to know so well would do something so mean to me. This really taught me, I can''t be friends with everyone and there will always be someone out there wanting to make your life harder. But even this sad lesson led to a great spiritual growth. It helped me realize how powerful forgiveness is. I couldn't bring myself to be happy until I learned I couldn't stay mad forever and had to forgive her. Things will never be the same between us, we will never be as close as we were, but I don't want to be resentful. She is a human and makes mistakes, I do too. I wouldn't want to be judged solely by them, so I won't do that to her.
Pointe shoes are the highest level of dance shoes in ballet. You dance on the tips of your toes on a wooden box.