Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
You seem to be suggesting that the principal aspect of our relationship with nature is a feeling of helplessness. We feel panic about what is happening but we have no answers - or perhaps we are not sufficiently inclined to look for them - and so fall into denial. Our responses to the current crises are meaningless because they're there to make ourselves feel better, not to actually make change.
Obviously, if we continue to do nothing we will hit global catastrophe. You did a great job of highlighting this through the examples of #Kony2012 and #bringbackourgirls, allowing our history of inaction to foreshadow the future.
You clearly feel strongly about this issue: frustration screams from your words. There is real passion for real activism in this piece, and it's genuinely infectious!
Perhaps you could elaborate a little on some of the environmental problems? You mention life on water and life on land, but if you could be a little more specific about what is actually at stake, either at the beginning or at the end, you could then point out that slactivism won't help stranded seal puppies etcetera. Your piece is brilliant, but I am acutely aware that this is an environmental writing competition, and at the moment your focus is - albeit aptly - on the social/political side to it.
This is *such* a brilliant piece, filled with so many sharp and insightful points, and executed with real skill. You are obviously a very talented journalist and I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.