Peer Review by ALangford (United Kingdom)

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Los Angeles

By: _Mason_


Rushing streets,
Busy buildings,
Diverse people,
Different cultures,
Popping artwork.


Message to Readers

hey dudes! like if you liked it, it means a lot. And reviews and comments appreciated


Peer Review

I don't like this question - all of your words revealed something about this world. You wrote this very effectively. What I will say is that some parts were maybe unnecessary and had already been dealt with to an extent previously - for example, the busy buildings part wasn't really necessary given that we'd already had the 'rushing streets' so to me personally I'd suggest that you adapt that line and try to get across something new about the city - perhaps a smell it has, or a sense, or the colours that hit you. Similarly, the 'different cultures' line is really strong and a nice way of revealing something about the city - but it's already to an extent covered in diverse people, so you might want to vary this a bit too.


It made me almost in awe of the city, a really impressive feat given that you only had ten words! You dealt with this prompt really effectively and made me feel the business, flamboyance, diversity and culture. Well done!


Reviewer Comments

This is really well written and a really effective manner of responding to the prompt. One thing I would say is, I love your line 'popping artwork' because the adjective is really unique and adds something to the sense of movement of the city too. Could you maybe use more unique adjectives for other parts - for instance. 'different cultures'?
Well done though, I really enjoyed reading this and it really caught my eye. My suggestions are only small things but obviously it's a very short prompt so there's no real need to change anything as it was a really striking piece of writing and the way you structured it was so effective.