I was just sitting there slowly moving back and forth on the swing set as the soft drops of white snow glistened upon my face and tears rolled down my eyes. Last Christmas, I got my heart broken. I remember meeting this boy on the first day of school that I thought was just so beautiful. Although we had to wear uniforms he still looked pretty cool. Under our black sweatshirt with our panther school logo on it, he had a white T-shirt and a silver cross chain hanging from his neck. Not to mention he had the most beautiful curly hair, a diamond in his ear and some NIKE air force ones on his feet. I was instantly like "Wow I just have to have him." Even though I was scared of rejection, he was super hot so I thought it was worth the risk to talk to him. Since he thought as well I was cute we exchanged social media accounts and were talking every day and night since. When we were at school we still talked and flirted, but not as much as we did on the phone. I noticed that other girls were starting to like him too, but I didn't do anything. I know dumb move right, but it's too late to go back now. Obviously, the girls thought he was cute when they first saw him, but I guess they finally worked up the courage. This is when he started acting like a player. He thought I didn’t notice but I did. I just didn’t say anything which is a big problem of mine. I tend to let people walk all over me like some doormat. I try to stop doing this but it’s a bad habit. Everything went downhill from there. Since we were technically unofficial he was flirting with other girls, texting me less and less. He even started avoiding me at school but of course, I didn’t say anything. Then out of the thin air, this girl was all of a sudden his girlfriend. At this point, I am literally shell-shocked. I was so hurt. I really felt stabbed in the back. It pained my soul to see them together every day. They were always cuddling, holding hands or kissing. I can't even stomach the fact that everyone was calling them cute and the perfect couple. After a while, they eventually broke up and of course, I swept in and scooped him back up like nothing had even happened. Being young, dumb and naive I thought we were going to be an actual couple, but he wanted to stay on the down low. I agreed and we started secretly dating. At this period in my life even as hard as I tried I just could not stay out of trouble. That is when my mother pulled me from my school and forced me to transfer to the neighborhood school. At first, I felt tortured but now I realize it was for the best. I and the guy decided to keep dating long distance. Everything was finally looking up. He was always sending me really long paragraphs and sweet messages continuously throughout the day. Trust me, girl, if a guy is doing this for you that doesn't mean that he isn't doing it to other girls. That is exactly what happened to me. I found out when I texted one of my girlfriends who was in our class and told her we together. She informed me that the whole time I thought he was the perfect boyfriend, he was back with the same girl from last time. In denial, I tried to defend him by showing her the messages but then she sent me pictures of the exact messages the other girl received. This was right on Christmas day and I was just baffled at the fact that I let this happen again. The only person I could truly be mad at is myself. After finding this out I ran forcefully through the thick snow to the park across the street. I was just sitting there slowly moving back and forth on the swing set as the soft drops of white snow glistened upon my face and tears rolled down my eyes. Throughout the year I learned many things and one of the most important things was the fact that I can only depend on myself and that you can trust people as far as you can throw them. Considering I have very weak arms I won't be throwing anyone. This Christmas will be different and I will strive if I work hard. I know where I am going and I know where I've been.