Peer Review by ALangford (United Kingdom)

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Flashlights

By: Katelyn Arbogast


Fireflies light up the world
While you're lying in bed all curled
They are mini flashlights
Leaving beautiful sights
Glowing up the sky
As you are saying bye
A treat at night
Which never could be so bright


Peer Review

'Fireflies light up the world' - it's a really nice statement which leads really well into the rest of the poem. It's also a very beautiful and poetic image. I like how you go on to create that metaphor of their being 'mini flashlights' , which is a 'treat at night'. To me it's really clever because you're not only describing their physical appearance, but the feeling that they evoke in you which is really successfully conveyed - well done.


You evoke a really beautiful image and a feeling of awe through the descriptions you give - 'glowing', 'bright', 'light' etc. However, I'd love to see more of this kind of description, and for you to find ways to make it more unique and personal to you, rather than things you'd probably find in any description of fireflies. I realise it's really hard to do this whilst still fitting the rhyme scheme, and the rhymes in your poem were really effective, but the challenge could really pay off if you could create a more vivid image of the fireflies and maybe how they look against the darkness of the night.


Reviewer Comments

This was a really impressive work - well done. You probably have experimented with this before, but it might be really interesting to try experimenting with different ways of writing a poem - could you vary the rhyme scheme and syllabic structure more? How about punctuation - how could you vary the use of enjambment and punctuation to create interest? And how could you use these poetic features to convey subtleties to do with the actual content of the poem - for example, in moments of beauty using satisfying rhythm and rhyme, and in moments of strife using features for a more disjointed effect?
This was really enjoyable to read though, well done! I hope to read more of your work on the site in the future.