Peer Review by Quilling Leaves (United States)

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Our Willow and the Stars

By: Nadia Kotova

    Whenever I miss you, I climb into our willow, with its dancing, feathery leaves. It reaches up into the stars, fingering them as the willow did the last day we spent here. 
    I find solace in the wind while it's on the cusp between fall and winter. It's the kind of wind you always loved, that burns your throat and plays with your hair. You told me you could taste the stars on these kind of nights. 
    I close my eyes and remember the first day you lead me here. 
    "Me and Finwick used to spend hours here, naming the constellations." You smiled sadly at the stars. 
    Naming the ones you could remember, I watched you, without caring what pictures lived in the sky. The happiness glowing in your features was always more beautiful to me than constellations. 
    "Why don't you name one?"

    "‚ÄčA constellation?" I asked. 
    You touched my hand on accident and we blushed like the young, stupid teenagers we were. 
I rest now on that very branch, watching the collection of stars I'd named that day. A soft laugh escapes my lips as I recall almost tumbling from the tree. How you freaked out and kissed me without thinking. 
    The last day we spent together was in this precious willow. I'd talked and talked about how the stars made time stand still. You looked at me wistfully, saying you wished they did. We watched each other for who knows how long not wanting to acknowledge the fact you were going to war and we wouldn't be together for ages at best.
    And you'd kissed me again. This one slow and deliberate, as if you were hanging on for dear life. 
    I wish the kiss has tethered you here. You could be sitting next to me, smiling and laughing. 
    It feels like you are certainly alive here, not stuck in battle somewhere, maybe living and maybe not. But instead it's only me, daydreaming in the peace of our willow and the stars. 

Message to Readers

Let me know what you think! This is a blending of multiple versions of the same story. It's the same story my year by year prompt piece is based on, as well as my other work about the willow. Thanks for any help you can give me!

Peer Review

I really like the line how you put how stars seemed to freeze time and the lover wished that was true. It really puts how the character wishes to keep her lover close and for as long as she could before he had to leave.

This piece really set a sad scene in the beginning but then how the character recalled the first time the lover had shone her the tree and stars, caused peace and happiness to spark put interest and calmness.

Reviewer Comments

I really love this piece and you did very well describing it. I really like how you added a willow as an important part of the character's life along with how she loves the stars. This really reminds me of myself.