Peer Review by ALangford (United Kingdom)

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Harmony

By: Suit of Swords


In times of trouble
Of arguing and mess
I walk in nature
I walk to calm myself

When my mind is addled
When I can't think
When my thoughts are too unfocused
I got to Nature for Harmony

When I'm too stressed 
And have too much to do
To take my mind off things
I turn to nature for Tranquility

In the midst of crisis
Of turmoil and wars
Like how we have it now
I turn to Nature for Peace


Message to Readers

I forgot what I was supposed to write and had to change it. Hope you guys still like it though. Comments and Reviews are appreciated!


Peer Review

I like the repeated 'I go to Nature for Harmony/Tranquility/Peace' - it's really effective at creating that sense of balance that's present throughout the whole piece and structural features like this can bind a piece together really well. It's also really nice how you've capitalised those key nouns like harmony, tranquility and peace.
Would you consider finding a way to mimic this feature in the first stanza? It seems a bit weird to have just one stanza without it.


You use pretty consistent rhythm, really nice structure and beautiful language to create that sense of peace that you find in nature. The stanzas are all even and balanced rhythmically, and your language is never too elaborate - you choose simplicity and grace over extravagance, which works really well. Your lines are all very succinct and get the point across.
I wonder, though, if you might consider adding some rhyme? Even if just a rhyming couplet at the very end, you might find that rhyming some of your lines conveys that sense of peace even better. Equally, it might be useful to get more of a sense of consistent rhythm in every line - each line tends to have a different pattern of rhythm and it might detract a tad from that perfect sense of calm and tranquility.


Reviewer Comments

This is a really pretty and nice piece. You use language really effectively and your structural awareness is very strong. I really enjoyed reading this and hope to see more of your writing on the site in the future - well done!