Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is a personal story about how I met my first love and struggles we got through more to come, feel free to write a comment
A beautiful depiction of a first meeting and the beginnings of a possible love story. Simple, elegant and gorgeously described.
You have an innate, if somewhat raw, ability to paint the picture - to harness your words in such a manner that you are able to form a wonderfully vivid image in the mind of the reader.
I'll admit I got a little bit confused with this part: "Don't leave was stuck in my head at the time, I left them alone to drift." Left what/whom alone to drift? Your thoughts? Your friends? I'm sorry, that section just confused me a little bit.
There is a quiet elegance and simplicity to this piece that I simply love. I was completely sucked in by it - the way it was worded was evocative and I was able to understand, with clarity, what the character was feeling.
I do think you need to work on your grammar and, as I'm sure you've noticed, I have been quite blunt in pointing out a few errors. I think improving your grammar would really help this piece (and you) meet its (your) potential. It is of course, something you'll get better at with time, so no rush. I think you're off to a brilliant start Kayla! And may I be the first to welcome you to Write the World! :)