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Message to Readers
I beg your pardon if my speech give the shadow of offence <3
Peer Review
It feels very much like the person supposedly saying these things is actually talking to you. Perhaps they were quotes from people you have known. It really adds a certain quality. And also, it feels as though you are talking to me. It feels very personal and I really enjoy that feeling.
Oh gosh I don't think that this would need anything else. It is very complete and you effectively got your message across. Very very good work on this.
Reviewer Comments
I cannot wait to read more of your work - I really enjoy it. You are a really great writer and you address real world problems that others are afraid to.