Peer Review by ALangford (United Kingdom)

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Why I Write

By: Jared Koerner

PROMPT: Why I Write

Why I Write

    I write because my mind is a blender, full of thoughts and ideas-trapped in my head some never to be spoken of. I think more than I speak, so the words written on paper could be looked as more truth than what I actually say. I write for my friends that are not blood that I call family, the ones I'm closer to than actual blood family. I come up with ideas for stories I someday wish to turn into movies. I write songs, explaining my pain and struggles. Each lyric meaning something else pertaining to my friend’s and I lives. I write to escape from the real world and my problems. I write to rid myself of stresses and pains that are almost unrelenting and seem to not go away. I write because school requires me too, but on the side i write how I hate I don’t like school. I write because school isn't about learning anymore. School has become about passing, and with the city we live in going in the direction i see. School has become about survival. I write because I love my city, unlike any other. My city is one of the most important things to me, and my love for it is not to be expressed just through me telling you. It would take me to write it all, and fully explain it that way. 

Peer Review

'I write because my mind is a blender' - this was a very effective way to start because it encompassed most of the rest of the reasons quite well. It's also a very engaging start - it's obviously quite an unusual metaphor and one is left wondering exactly how and why the writer's mind is a 'blender'.

Probably the idea that it allows me to express those ideas which I don't say - it's like a delicious taste of truthfulness against the inevitable untruths of everyday life, which can be as small as pretending to be happy or pretending you don't care about something. I loved how you expressed this too - they do look more honest than what you'd say in everyday life. I think we both feel it's a way of grounding ourselves and expressing those things we would not say to others, perhaps out of fear of rejection or the wish to not bore them.

Reviewer Comments

The one criticism I do have of this is that it can appear a bit disorganised at the end. You go through most of the piece not elaborating on the reasons you write, but the end suddenly places a lot of detail and emphasis on school, which can seem like a digression from the actual subject. It's similar at the end with the city, although that works better because you cleverly turn it in order to highlight the last reason why you write. I would suggest that you either do this for every reason or don't do it for a random two at the end.
Otherwise though, I really enjoyed this - you write beautifully, you turn sentences with great grace and your reasons for writing are rather lovely.
Well done!