Peer Review by Ash (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

Five Natives of the Other Realm

By: Hanan Adi

1. Nheel has got a voice that most call a violin.
2. He's the lad who coated the town in 'Lost' posters for a butterfly.
3. She's the sort who writes "the kids" on her packing checklist.
4. She seeks company in her shadow, and counsel in herself.
5. Neither fire nor foe, neither dungeon nor despair, neither lesion nor lameness can claim or quell his soul--so fierce is his faith in the justice of fate.

Message to Readers

Do tell, what impression do you get of these characters? Please, enjoy!

Peer Review

I really love the second line, especially the reveal that they're for a butterfly. You get the sense he's incredibly sensitive and thoughtful to the point of child-like naivety.

The butterfly boy? Sure. He seems like the sort who always knows who's missing from class and believes that everybody has a role to play.
Now the boy with fierce faith in justice? Nope, he sounds very intense, like he has an overwhelming sort of personality.

Reviewer Comments

How close am I with my guesses? :)