Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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The Airplane Ride

By: aLittleBirdy

    I pressed my face against the window pane of the airplane. Soon we would be taking off into a land that I had never before visited, leaving behind friends and family alike. So many questions and thoughts raced through my mind. I breathed in the last few hours of American air I would breathe for God knows how long. Tears came unbidden from the corners of my eyes and trickled down my chubby cheeks. America had not been the kindest home, but it was my only home.
    My sister slides in the seat next to me, mad that we would move across the world on her birthday. I glance at her and offer a smile only to be offered hostility in return. Silently I return to my thoughts and slid in my headphones. 

Message to Readers

I'd like any advice, edits, or comments on my novice writing. Thanks guys!

Peer Review

'I pressed my face against the window pane of the airplane.' It drew me in further. I was wondering why the m.c. (main character) was pressing her nose against the window of an airplane. I also liked the lines that I highlighted.

I think it's because you moved to China (as on your profile) and you miss America. This was a moment that changed your life. How long have you lived in China?

Reviewer Comments

Well done! You caught a good bit of quiet nostalgia and emotion in this piece. Making me hope that I never leave USA for a long period of time.
Keep writing!
God bless!