This is a picture of a bvery strange anf farm

RedWriter

United States

Writing a bio for me is hard because I am myself and I could go on and on about how I think of me but would that be correct in others eyes? So I guess the only word I can really use to describe me is Bree and let my writing do the rest.

Message from Writer

Always, always always remember to see both sides of the story and you might just fill another book.

The Day (40)

March 27, 2019

FREE WRITING

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    I woke up to see Angelica waving her hand in my face, Catherine crying in the background. "Eliza! Wake up!" she yelled.
My mind was fuzzy at first, wanting to return to my dream which had taken many turns- right now I was talking before Congress, and Alexander was defending me and we were talking to the judge, which was for some reason Angelica in a man's clothing.
It was funny, so what was the rush? Surely breakfast could- My Wedding! My Wedding was today! "The Wedding!" I yelped, pushing myself off the matress and nearly crashing into Angelica and Amelia. They were fully dressed, though Angelica only in a plain white under gown, presumably to go under the bridesmaid one. At least I hoped it was since her dress had a lot of décolletage on display already. Last night during our talks I decided Peggy would be my sister of the bride, Cornelia and Peggy my bridesmaids, and Angelica the Maid Of Honor. Lydia would have to play the flower girl I supposed, though I couldn't really imagine all of these coming together in the ceremony. Oh Lord, my mind was all over the place. Should I be getting dressed already? What time was it?
"What-"
"No no, I know what your thinking- you haven't overslept," Amelia assured, but she had a tell. I found out that I could tell when she was lying when we were seven. Angelica told me to wait by Georgina, then a sprightly, healthy horse and that Amelia would be coming by to ride. I waited for an hour until I went inside and found Angelica sitting next to her. Amelia had said she had already rode, but her eye twitched and I knew for a fact she hadn't.
Her eye twitched and I glanced at the sunlight pouring through the window.
"How long?" I moaned.
"It's only midday, you have at least three hours-"
"Three hours!" I copied shrilly, the hair on my neck standing up. I felt a surge of sudden adrenaline, the dream disappearing at once. I was so anxious I nearly ran out in my night clothes with the house packed full of family. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier."
"You wouldn't believe the morning we've had!" Amelia defended in a tone I certainly didn't care for. "Everyone is here and the chairs outside were missing! We just scraped enough together and we had to help the servants cook-"
"We were so preoccupied we forgot the most important person here- you," Angelica interrupted before Amelia could get out of hand. She threw her a bundle of cloth, which was a plain white dress to mirror hers.
"Gosh Eliza there is no time to talk! Come on and we'll wolf down some breakfast!"
She grabbed my arm and together we whisked down the stairs, barely allowing me to grab a shawl and wrap it around myself not to expose so much. She was right- it was absolutely crowded. Mainly with women from the Schuyler Clan. They were striking in long elegant dresses, pulled so tightly in the bodices they looked like models, even if some of them did have extra in the stomach area. Necklines to mirror Angelica's lined the crowd and men wore fine clothing as well- I even spotted my baby cousin Martha in the arms of Aunt Hildegarde. But James and Robert and the older boys seemed to be outside or in another room- I didn't blame them. I heard a few people announce my arrival but didn't stop to greet them, dashing down the stairs with Angelica and making a bee-line for a some milk curds left over and a few pieces of apple lying on the table. I knew I was supposed to be courteous but just seeing them made my stomach groan- I quickly devoured three handfuls of apples.
Angelica took one and bit into it daintily, seeming to go through a mental tally mark. "Alright, now let's get you dressed and then you can look at the decorations and run through the proceedings and then we will meet the guests. Plan?"
"I- I- yes, let's go," I said through a mouthful of apple mush.
If I ever needed to cut through crowds Angelica was the woman to walk behind. When most of the people tried to greet me (Aunt Rosette tried to ask me what Alexander looked like), I smiled at them but Angelica supplied answers ranging from 'many things to do you know' to 'Was that your foot? I didn't see it.'
Edina was nearly ran over but, with a squeak of terror, scurried out of the way as we climbed the stairs in a rush. I didn't even bother to say sorry I was in such a hurry, though I had a feeling that if she was my hair-brusher later I'd surely pay. I nearly tripped myself but grabbed the railing just in time and went along after my elder sister.
Mother was standing there frantically waving from the small window they had, an apron on over a blue dress that seemed suspiciously like my favorite color. "No!" she shouted. "To the left!"
"Mother, Eliza needs to get dressed," Angelica said breathlessly, stalking forward and grabbing it off the bed where it lay. I looked at it and removed my brown shawl, lying it on the bed post. My wedding dress lay before me, to wrap around my body and walk down the aisle in.
It was as bright as I remembered it being, with those lacy and satin layers of the skirt. The gold pendants hung at the cuffs and the neckline was a little too low for comfort but not as low as it was without the shawl or Angelica's. I smiled and Angelica helped me step into the dress, pushing my arms through the sleeves and helping my adjust my hair, tying the bodice. I grunted as she gave it a final twist and looked down at myself to see my small stomach pressed against the fabric, though not in an unflattering way. Angelica brought me some shoes to wear and I tried them on, slipping them on as my Mother watched. Angelica flew into her dress too, seeming much more comfortable with the neckline than I. But I felt great.
I wanted to go see Alexander now and stand before him. I wanted to see his expression of my dress and I wanted to see him and I wanted-
But I couldn't yet, there was so much to do. "Mother, I need someone to brush my hair-" I started, stopping when I saw her expression.
Tears welled in the wise brown eyes that had seen so much happiness and heartbreak, births and miscarriages simply a part of her life. Today was a day for the happiness. Her eyes watched me, and even though I knew it was impossible, it seemed like she could already see me walking down the aisle.
"Oh Elizabeth," she exhaled, walking forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Her eyes truly shone. "You are so... so beautiful. So smart and kind and trustworthy and wonderful."
I blushed. "Mother-"
"I remember taking you to the market and you picking out that necklace. Do you remember that?" she asked.
"Yes," I recalled, then saddened. "But I lost that years ago Mother. I don't know where it is."
"It's amazing," she began, reaching a hand into her apron and holding out an oval that was a blue of my favorite shade. It was strewn together on a silver chain neatly, with the initial 'E.' on the back of the oval. I stared and she smiled brightly at my expression. "What you find while you're looking for bedding for visiting family."
I gasped and scooped it up from her hands, inspecting it closer. "Oh, Mother, this is beautiful."
"I know. It's strong and reliable when you need it, pretty and kind enough to let me find it."
"Well," I said, holding up my hair and letting her put it on. "The stone was probably taught all this from it's crafter."
"You think so?" she asked, clicking it in place.
"I know so," I said solemnly. She chuckled and hugged me. "Oh Eliza... I love you too much for my own good."
I joined her chuckle this time and we separated- not only did I feel beautiful, but I felt strong. Ready to face whatever being a Hamilton would require. Ready to be with, belong to, and have belonged to me Alexander. While at the same time, always, always being a Schuyler sister, daughter, niece, cousin, and friend. I smiled and squeezed Mother's hand. She looked at me proudly a moment longer before seeming to be able to jerk her focus away, looking at Angelica. "Angelica, are you ready?"
"Yes," she answered, and I turned to her. She was dazzling too- a white dress with the flowers snaking down and her low neckline she wanted. "I'll brush it Eliza," she offered.
"No, I got Kiurea to come. She should-"
The door opened and the short servant strode inside, shutting it behind her and carrying her small bible with ribbons in one hand and a brush in another.

_____Alexander_____
I was running before I was even fully awake. I needed my uniform clean, which it was, but the mud stains wouldn't do would they? I ran to the laundry boys, the bright light of the midday sun nearly blinding me. I was glad I'd pretty much gotten over the hangover during the night, because I didn't want to sleep and then wake up puking. A lot of good it did me. I pulled away from nearly crashing into a gaunt Stevenson and didn't pause- there was no time.
Gosh, that was the last time I'd drink.
I skittered over and nearly crashed into Mulligan, crouching behind a tree and throwing up. He didn't even see me- well, that was alright. I had a lot to do. I threw myself out of the way of someone with brown hair and a muddied uniform surrounding by some others and then continued.
I didn't remember moving this fast outside of a battle or message since I was late for class in Princeton- those rulers hurt. I dashed down the tents and saw the familiar laundry tent. Panting, I went inside and practically stripped down to my socks, only keeping my pants on.
The boy there was quite flustered. "Sir, you do know you are supposed to bring an extra set of clothes to wear while you wait?" he asked, a stout little fellow.
"No time! As soon as possible, I need this stain out, yes?" I gasped, deciding not to look at the three other people there. He wrinkled his nose but quickly picked them up and rushed off. I relaxed a moment and then a thought struck me. None of my family was coming unless they'd arrived early if they were coming at all. None of my friends would be able to come because of the British in the harbor. I needed, at least, a best man. I glanced around and found myself in the company of three soldiers- one my friend, James McHenry, one I didn't know, and Charles Lee.
"Well," Lee said, a bit red himself. "You do know how to make an entrance."
I bit my lip and decided it was best not to respond, turning to James. "McHenry!"
James smiled, looking at me curiously. "Colonel. What brought you here in this ... state?"
"Uh, well, that's my problem you see James," I began. I could already tell he guessed it was another scheme of mine and his face grew wary.
I shook my head. "It's nothing bad! I promise!"
"Then what is it?"
"Yes, what is it that brought you here in this state? You do realize that we're not a tribe on an island here, right?" Lee asked.
James, startled, looked between the two of us. Could Lee get away with talking like that?
"Well it certainly wasn't for your benefit Captain Lee, but since you obviously can't tear your gaze away, please keep your mouth closed- it helps with not only your language but the drool," I informed quickly. Lee looked like an angry tomato but before he could respond I turned my attention back to James. "How would you like to be my best man?"

____Eliza____
 I looked at the setup and sighed happily. The chairs were arranged in perfect formation, and at the end a minister stood with his book at the ready. A garland of greenery and wildflowers hung over the white entrance, and a huge wicker basket of different flowers sat right by the chairs where I stood at the beginning of the rows. Some people had already sat down- not that I could blame them. I had just finished my hair and snuck somehow to Cornelia's bedroom window, not greeting anyone yet. Kiurea could be quite a violent brusher, but in the end it looked just how I dreamed of it- silky, long, and the chestnut color instead of the powdered wigs I'd seen so many women don. I smiled, and counted up the chairs, glad no one had turned around yet. On our side, there were about fifty chairs, which was mandatory. There were twenty for the Hamiltons- in case one of his adoptive families should come. The Livingstons were the most likely, but who knew? Maybe his father would come to finally see his son , or his brother. Mother warned me not to show myself in the dress so I shut the door behind me.
Thomas and Uncle Richard sat near the front already, probably securing a spot for Aunt Rosette. "ElizaBETH!"
I jumped and turned to the back door as Aunt Belinda shuffled in, swatting her stick around on the grass and squinting through her spectacles. "Can you BeLIEVE IT?" she asked.
I shook my head half-heartedly- I couldn't. I couldn't believe I had found my true love and after everything, Father still approved of him. Truly, this was a miracle, a wonderful miracle made for me.
"There she is!" Aunt Rosette yelped, bustling forward out from behind Aunt Belinda and grabbing my hands like yesterday was history. "Eliza! How are you feeling?"
I bit my lip, unsure of how to describe it. "Like I'm about to get married?" I tried.
Aunt Rosette laughed good-naturedly and smiled, trying to pull me off probably to interview me about how exactly I felt. "Eliza! May I steal her away from you for a moment Rosette?" Aunt Hildegarde appeared.
Aunt Rosette opened her mouth to answer but at that moment Amelia showed up at her shoulder. Suddenly the room was very crowded. 
"Mother," she complained. "Could you help me make sure the seating is alright? Aunt Catherine asked me."
Disappointed, she nodded and let go of me, hurrying to help her daughter. I looked at Aunt Hildegarde, one of the fairer aunts. She smiled at me and I noticed Uncle Spencer emerging as well, coming to stand beside her. He was thin, and looked very sickly, because he got sick very often. But he always wore a big smile and a maroon suit. His goofy way of thinking reminded me of Rensselaer, or rather Rensselaer reminded me of Uncle Spencer.
"Eliza!" He shouted, taking me into an embrace.
I laughed and hugged him. "Uncle Spencer! Aunt Hildegarde! Good day to you," I beamed, liking how comfortable they seemed with each other. Aunt Hildegarde laughed at her husband, though I couldn't tell why. "My dear Spencer! Some of the flowers you picked seemed to have taken a liking to you," she told him cheerily.
He looked down and so did I, seeing his shoes were indeed covered in flower petals to match some of the ones in the basket. He brushed them off and Aunt Hildegarde shared a knowing look with me. "It seems a bit scary doesn't it? Marriage does at first for all of us. In a couple of years, perhaps you will be as lucky as Spencer and I."
I'll be luckier.
I nodded and smiled but didn't say anything else, and they moved to take their seats downstairs in the yard- time was coming. I moved to go back and look in the mirror when I ran into Peggy.
She was gorgeous. Her brown hair was up in a tower of curls and she wore a white dress with a little bit of gold in the front of the skirt. Her face was pink and she pointed to Mother and Father's bedroom. "You'd better hurry!"
"I'm already in my dress! The finishes and touches won't take too long."
"Well you might not have too long!" she warned, and then fumbled down the stairs. Worried, I went inside.
"Eliza! Get in here and put the veil on this instant!" Angelica cried immediately, shoving it over my head before the door even closed. "What- what's wrong?" I yelped.
"Catherine is wrong! She somehow got her stupid dress filthy and this time Mother doesn't have another that will match!" Angelica explained. "We have to make sure you are ready before we can even think about her dress."
"But where are they?" I asked worriedly.
"Downstairs. Don't worry about it Eliza, this is your day- no one else's," Angelica promised firmly, and helped me secure the long train that ran down my back and was intended to cover my face. I didn't particularly like it though- I wanted it on my head not over my head. I positioned it on the middle of my scalp. "Would this be alright?" I asked her hopefully, hoping I wouldn't have to harshly insist on her letting me wear it that way, or be guilted into it covering my face.
"Eliza... ok, you look beautiful. I never fancied veils anyway," she sighed with satisfaction and the urgency was forgotten for a moment.
"Eliza, I love you," she stated simply, and it made my heart swell.

____Alexander____
I wish the boy would've hurried more but nothing could be changed now. I yanked the clothes back as soon as they were in range and shoved myself into them, hoping this wouldn't start a rumor of my lack of decency. They were still damp, but it was better than nothing. I looked around outside the laundry tent at all of the embarrassed faces and saw James, who was just returning from asking his Captain if he could leave to be my best man. Silently I cursed myself- how had I not thought about a best man? Everything else had just seemed to float away- partly. I had asked several people earlier before Fort Washington, but since they were all Captains or Lieutenant Colonels they'd canceled on me. Understandably, but that didn't solve my problem. I began forming a plan. One of the brothers could be my best man- it might be wisest to have Phillip, the oldest or John, who I had sung with that long ago. Was it really all that long ago or did it only feel like it? If he had other duties, I'd ask the youngest, Rensselaer.
I smiled and remembered my first choice for 'Brother of Groom' or 'Best Man' or ring bearer. Edward Stevens- now that was someone I'd known a long time. The Stevens family had always been kind to me, taking a chance on who I was. Who I am. And he could pass better because we looked and acted so much alike we could almost be mistaken for twins- except perhaps for the hair, his was darker. And maybe the eyes, his were green. But other than that, he was my spitting image. I sighed and remembered how he'd dreamed of becoming a doctor-
"I can," James panted, jolting me from my spiraling thought stream, "though I am only excused for the afternoon, returning by nightfall."
"Wonderful! I really am in your debt James," I said, ready to run but knowing I should let him catch his breath first. "Alright, we are running to the Schuyler Mansion."
"The one in Albany?"
"No, the one here," I answered, a little vexed. I didn't have time for stupid questions, but I was already in his debt for his agreeing to go with me. I swallowed and took in a deep breath. "Ready?" I asked him.
He looked at me warily. "Just how fast are you planning to go?"
"Just run as fast as you can, alright?" I asked him. James nodded uncertainly, like he was afraid he would outrun me. And maybe he would- we'd just have to see. We took off from where we stood outside the laundry tent and ran toward the West exit. It was time for me to wed the most wonderful person in the world!

James panted behind me as I waited for him on the road to Schuyler Mansion. I was ready to stride on, ready to join the brave, smart, witty, beautiful woman who was willing to love an undeserving orphan like me. Orphan. Suddenly I remembered about the letter Washington said he had sent to Eliza.
A thousand thoughts swung into my mind at once, a fierce storm. Oh Lord. She read the letter? Has she read the letter?
Of course she read the letter, imbecile, why wouldn't she? Now she knows EVERYTHING- no stone left unturned. There is nothing hidden between us, no daydreams of what the other might have lived through.
And for the first time I felt so... bare. There were no walls, no barricades...and no handholds to catch if she declined the marriage when I arrived. No net- my past was naked. And for the first time in my life, calm set over me. A blanket of something settled over me, immovable, unshakable. There was no man or woman I'd felt that about before. Laurens and Edward had come close, but not like this. Nothing like this.
James glanced at me from his jogging toward me and saw that I was frozen in place. "Alexander?" he asked uncertainly, pausing.
I took a breath. My mind fought itself relentlessly- She knows. She knows- and what reason would she have to take a broke husband, now knowing everything as she does?
But I KNOW Eliza, she would never do that- I love her. And even if she hadn't read it... wouldn't I tell her?

"Alexander?" he asked again, starting to walk slowly bridging the few feet between us. But I nodded and took a stride forward, the blanket covered me gently but firmly. I had figured out what that feeling was now- it was trust, faith, and hope rolled into one. It was love.

____Eliza____
"Alright," I breathed, pacing back and forth and rubbing my hands together just to feel the warmth. I had done so five times now, my heart skipping with every step of my small shoes. I felt beautiful and confident, yes, but nervous at the same time. Was that possible? I hadn't thought so until now, but that was the only way to describe it. Lord, I was getting married in... what? Half an hour? Twenty minutes? Less time than that? Just the thought nearly made my legs wobble.
Walking down the aisle, meeting my love at the end, both of us in our finest clothes with the minister between us while Lord knows how many eyes followed our every movement.
I bent to my knees carefully, not wanting to tear or soil the dress. I closed my eyes and breathed out, imagining all of the anxiety going out in one breath, one exhale into the air to evaporate and return to where it had come from in the first place. I clasped my hands and said a small prayer.
It released some tension and I felt myself relax a small bit. I was alone in Mother and Father's room since everyone was either taking their places or helping outside. Or maybe even still dressing Catherine, though I hoped she had been taken care of already.
I finished my prayer and raised myself up, smiling a little. Maybe the nerves were a good thing. Maybe I needed them with me while I walked down the aisle and they would stay with me to remind me of my vows. To keep me focused on something other than Alexander, though he was the only thing I wanted to be focused on. I fiddled with the small oval necklace Mother had found and pressed it to my skin underneath the dress, but then retrieved it and placed it where all could see as I walked down.
I breathed shakily and sank to my knees again, folding my arms and praying. I said the prayers again, and then one more time before I got to my feet. I hoped that when I got there and saw his violet eyes, ginger hair and smile, there would be nothing else that mattered.
"But I don't need to hope," I thought out loud. "I know."

____Alexander____
"Hello!" said a skinny man with pale face and dark hair, wearing a maroon suit of some sort of fancy material. He immediately held out a hand to McHenry and then another to me. "You must be a cousin I haven't met yet! I must say there are a lot of them! So what are you originally, a Van-Rensselaer? A Schuyler through and through?"
James glanced at me quizzically and I offered a smile. "Actually, sir, I'm the groom. My name is Alexander Hamilton, Sir."
He stopped and blinked a couple of times. "Forgive me, Sir. I haven't had the time to ask Eliza what exactly you looked like. Please, come in. And you, sir?" he asked McHenry.
"James, sir, James McHenry. The Best Man and whatever else may occur."
"Right! Well, should we get some of the older boys to come help your family inside? Or rather outside, where the ceremony will take place?" he asked, moving aside to let us inside the familiar Schuyler House. James looked around as he entered, smiling, immediately heading toward the crowd exiting through the back door.
"I... there is no one else coming," I told him. He changed direction in an instant, immediately brushing past the topic, for which I was grateful.
"So! I am about to be your Uncle Spencer. My wife, Hildegarde, you must meet her before the night is over, though I am afraid she is saving some seats with my daughter and sons."
I smiled, something external clicking me into a relaxed state though my nerves were in a frenzy. I liked him. "Nice to meet you, Sir. What is it you do?"
"I work at the apothecary. I even have an apprentice- have you heard of a Stephen Griggless?"
"I can't say I have," I answered, looking around and seeing James leave through the back door. What company he was! But my attention drifted immediately to seeking out Eliza.
Where was she? Would I have to meet her at the alter? Yes, of course I would, so it was useless to look, wasn't it? But I couldn't help but scan the retreating crowd for her brown hair and clever dark eyes. Was she upstairs? I glanced at the top of the stairs- she had to be so close!
Spencer laughed. "Don't worry, you will see her soon. Very soon, in fact. Would you care to come down to the alter, or is there something-"
"No! I'm ready!" I said enthusiastically, not meaning to cut him off. He didn't seem offended, thank the Lord, and just nodded, leading to me where the last of the people were taking their seats, preparing themselves. Preparing themselves? Who is getting married here? My nerves screamed out. I spared one last glance at the stairs where Eliza would come down in just moments and then continued outside.
I had severely underestimated the size of the Schuyler clan. Fifty chairs, all full except for some on the end, stretched down the expansive yard, ending just before the beginning of a hill. And all the faces, turning and puckered in powder or judgement stared as I began walking to my place under a garlanded arbor. The short minister already standing there glanced up curiously. In the chairs on my side of the aisle, which the Schuylers had so graciously arranged, sat only James, a lone man whom I hadn't spent a great deal of time with, to represent my family.
I took a breath but didn't slow my step, walking, walking, walking until I was finally at the end of the small pathway created for the event. I tried taking in everything and everyone, but found it nearly impossible to focus my thoughts. It felt so lonely, standing at the alter without Eliza, the amazing girl with the determination to write a full scale report and play piano and the kindness to believe her sisters were better than her.
That loneliness wasn't caused by not having my father or brother there, nor by having all of the gazes in the crowd on me. I felt lonely because... well... Eliza wasn't here yet. And when she did get here, even the stares and whispers a crowd twice this size would be bearable, probably even enjoyable. My vows ran through my head, as a flower girl appeared and started trailing petals as she slowly walked in my direction. The words were rehearsed on my tongue, ready to be recited with perfection as soon as she appeared.
And then she did. And I found myself unable to recall a single word nor muster a breath. The very air in my lungs had been stolen by the woman I would soon to marry.

____Eliza____
"Eliza!" Angelica said, cracking open the door just as I began humming to myself the bridal march being played. I snapped my head up and my blood ran cold at the look, knowing what she was going to say before she said it. "It's time."
And so it was. I opened my mouth and closed it again. It's time. In a daze, I inched forward, my hands cupped together over my stomach as if I needed to run to the bathroom. Angelica's violin was at her side, but she didn't pay it as much attention and care as me. "Eliza," she repeated firmly.
I nodded oddly, feeling like a bobble head. I can do this. I will do this. I am doing this.
I walked out of my room shakily, clinging to the banister as we all quickly made our way to the bottom of the stairs. I took a breath and tried to ease my nerves as we, arm in arm, approached the back door. But over and over they pounded the back of my head, my shoulders, my legs, making me wish for a silent wedding with no one watching. I needed to get them out-
The door opened and I sucked in a breath of fresh air. My eyes seemed to know exactly where to go. Immediately they flew to him and I sighed at the sight of his familiar face. Here he was- and, I noticed, there was no one on his side and his best man was Mr. McHenry. I smiled at the thought of Aunt Rosette's face and focused on Alexander again.
Just like that, the nerves- all of the nerves that had threatened to have me curl into a ball disappeared like a magic act. I didn't cling to Angelica but strode down the aisle, my heart soaring, assaulting for the tenth time that week my throat as it pulled itself up, choking my words but brightening my smile.
Alexander was in a military uniform, of course, but I saw no sign of any stains at all. His ginger hair was combed as best he could comb it. And his eyes... his eyes must have mirrored mine as I walked to him. I heard no sound though I knew Angelica had to be playing the violin. If there was a beat I was supposed to be going with, then- then- Beat be damned!
There was no crowd of family members, no music, nothing. Nothing but Alexander and I, his magnificent blue-purple eyes startling and breathtaking, my heart skipped a beat seeing him struggle for breath, or just to see him at all. My heart jumped at an untraceable pattern. I slowed down the last few steps and found my lips parted, wanting to say so much yet there was not one word I could form in my mind.
He could. "Eliza," he whispered softly, seeming to hang onto my name. And that was enough.

____Alexander____
She was stunning. I found this was the right word since she really did astonish me. For once, I was literally stunned speechless. Her gown seemed to have been crafted with only her in mind. A ripple effect came down from the torso to the skirt and layers upon layers glimmered-- a complex beautiful creation, just like her. Hints of gold shone from the end of each sleeve, and an oval necklace gleamed from her bosom. But this wasn't what entranced me the most- not just the way it was pulled around her waist just to fit her or the way the train was positioned behind her hair to let it show, but her.
Her eyes that had somehow grown more beautiful, more compassionate and intelligent. Her lips that had parted like she needed to say something. Her cheeks that had warmed and made my own blush as well, her hair that looked like silk. And then simply her face of loving acceptance, unabashed faith and honesty. She loved me- After all that I had told her, after admitting my heritage and telling her exactly who I was- she loved me.
I tried to steady my gasping lungs and took a breath, never taking my gaze away from Eliza, not for one moment. She stopped in front of me and I knew then that this would be one of the happiest moments I would get to live. She looked at me lovingly and I stared as the minister readied himself. I needed a word that meant love and beauty, kind and keen, honest and honorable, loyal and trusting all in one. "Eliza," I breathed.
She colored further and beamed at me as the minister began. His words looped in and out through my ears.
"... and witness the beauty of God's love... to a new set of people to make a difference in the world side by side, whether the other be in pain or illness... love that is mutual, adored by both.... and now we shall here the vows. The Groom will be first."
I looked down at my Eliza, the words rushing out without me even pausing to think about them. "My Eliza... I vow to keep you safe. I vow to stay with you when you are sick and vow to love you no matter what you do. I vow in all honor of my name to be a understanding, loyal, passionate husband to you and vow I will not restrain your ambitions. I vow to help you grow and protect you in honor and legacy. I vow to make you my only true love, my only lover. I vow to see your dark darling eyes again and I vow to always tell you everything, keep nothing between the two of us. I vow to you I will believe with and in you and I vow I will not stop loving you even as I breath my last breath- I love you dearly."
Her hand took mine. "I vow to always love you, Alexander. I vow to be with you through all stages of your life and be honorable and loyal to you . I vow to protect you as much as God allows and to be with you, side by side, whether that be through my presence or letters. I vow to pray about and for you and I vow to keep you with me always. I vow to never make you stray from your passion. I vow to love you always, unconditionally. I vow to trust you, I vow to stay with you until my dying breath and then love you in the afterlife. I vow you are my only love, too, and I shall burn every candle in existence if I must, to read your letters, I shall ride every road you lead us down. I vow to know you always Alexander, never become estranged, no matter what happens. I vow to love you."
My heart somersaulted, seeming to burst out of my chest right there. Her hand, destined to fit mine, interlaced with my fingers. I didn't care who was watching anymore- not even if it was Father and my blood brother. They'd made their choices... And I am making mine.
"...well should no one object to the binding of these two, we will be presented with the rings," The minister said, and a small boy walked down the aisle, dark hair and green eyes with a sort of suit on. Stumbling a bit once, he nearly dropped them but made it all the way. Eliza and I got each others' rings and I smiled at the boy as he hurried back to his chair relieved to be finished with his role.
I turned to look at her and my eyes grew misty. The minister wasn't finished yet, though. "Would the sisters of the bride and brothers of the groom please rise, or siblings?" he prompted.
Peggy, Angelica, and Cornelia stood, Catherine in their arms. I pointedly did not look at my side of the audience knowing James couldn't cover this topic. The ladies craned their heads to see what would happen, but nothing would. I simply did not have any siblings with me, despite the fact I had more than most from my adopted families.
Then Rensselaer stood up. He seemed a little embarrassed to be drawing all this attention since he was near the front row but didn't falter in step. He walked past people, apologized when he stepped on their toes, and stopped once he was between the sections, standing. Standing for Eliza AND me.
A well of pride swirled up in my stomach as more and more of her sisters and brothers followed suit. Soon all her brothers and sisters had copied him. The minister was perplexed but continued anyway. "Now I pronounce you husband and wife," he said. "You may present each other with the rings and kiss the bride."
Eliza slid it on my finger, cool metal against my skin after I gently did the same. It was Eliza who jumped on me and pressed her lips against mine before I had the chance. I caught her on reflex, my heart whirling with love and want to simply stand there forever if that meant never setting down my Eliza. And she really was mine now, and I hers- the Hamiltons.
The name that wasn't so lonely now. I finally, finally had someone to share it with.

____Eliza____
I closed my eyes, wanting to remember every bit of this moment but live it fully at the same time. The elation, the love of this new name attached to mine. The happy surprise in his eyes when I pulled myself around him and kissed him. The strong arm under me to hold me, the ring on my finger seeming to meld to my body. Hamilton. I was a Hamilton. I touched his forehead to mine, feeling more daring than ever before. He looked at me happily, his blue eyes shining. "I have never before seen you so happy," I teased.
He grinned and pressed me closer to him. "And I have never before seen you so red."
I blushed and he chuckled as I proved his point further. My family- our family, cheered behind us and he set me down carefully right before they all rushed forward to greet us. I looked at him and wondered if he knew just how happy I was for him to be here, to be mine, for him to exist.
And from the looks of it, his thoughts must have mirrored mine, except he was thinking the same about me.






 
Thanks Lin Manuel Miranda, Ron Chernow, and the Hamiltons. In this chapter the Hamiltons most of all.

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