Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
It gives me a great picture of the world, and the main character. You did a beautiful job with all the descriptions! I felt like I could reach out and touch the girl. :)
'Her mind was clear; as bright and pure as the moon she resembled.' - Because it's such a lovely description! The descriptions given throughout the composition led up wonderfully to the ending line, which gave such a contrast that it was very easy to see. I looked up at the moon last night, and it was really bright, even though only half of it was there. I got the same feeling with this piece. :)
You did a great job putting all the sentences together, and with the adjectives that you choice.
Superb job! Hope to see more compositions like this. :)