Peer Review by aryelee (United States of America)()

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Lindley

By: ethereal.otherworldly


PROMPT: Slow Seeing

i'm calm.

it's rare, nowadays, for me to be, what with school and work and anxiety. but here, perched on the side of the bridge, watching the stream twist and turn and bubble over rocks and dirt and sand, i feel okay. i watch maya quietly, her paws barely grazing the ground as she jumps from bank to bank. i can hear the sound of a dove high above me, crooning and rustling her wings.

a leaf tears off the maple tree to my side, resting lightly on the wings of the breeze before drifting down into the stream. i smile. the sunlight is filtering through the tress, dancing on the earth, bathing the whole scene in a sleepy, soft light. it's reaching late afternoon and a feeling of calm settles over me as i effortlessly leap down into a patch of daisies just to my left, where I stretch out and close my eyes, taking deep breaths. I can smell earth and grass and maya, my beautiful puppy laying down to rest in her head on my chest.


Message to Readers

please help me and leave a review i am so crap at writing you can put it down on your resume as a charity activity


Peer Review

"the sunlight is filtering through the tress, dancing on the earth, bathing the whole scene in a sleepy, soft light" the description of the setting feels so peaceful with this added detail.


maybe a little more description of each smell, and what's being felt? (like: is the sunlight warm? is the grass soft or itchy?)


Reviewer Comments

this was so vivid and peaceful, i absolutely loved it!