Peer Review by elisa (United States)

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Who Else?

By: RedWriter

PROMPT: Omniscient Lens

An old lonely pier sits on the edge of civilization, wood chipped and wet with consuming waves. Cars and planes and trains and even tricycles drive, fly, ride, and peddle done the streets next to the pier. Tis a wonder who even goes out on that old pier with all it's peeling wood and rusted metal where bars had been to keep people over three feet from falling off and seeming like a doorway to people under 2.9. It doesn't look it, but it would be stable enough to support a circus complete with lions and tigers and bears. Then under the water, there's almost an opaque gleam of tinsel. What could be there under that pier? And if no one goes on it, who would find out?
Well who else but the boy with red socks who rolled onto the hard wood January 3rd, 1978?

I am not sure if this is what it was asking but I like it.

Peer Review

It gives a good representation of the pier and tells a lot without being limited to one point of view.

"An old lonely pier sits on the edge of civilization; wood chipped and wet with consuming waves." It's an excellent opening line and draws the reader in without being overwritten.

Reviewer Comments