Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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Hurricane

By: just_a_girl


FREE WRITING

In the eye of a hurricane
Silence roars across the terrain
The mighty winds stop
Not a single raindrop
Can be heard in the eye of the storm

Soon the quiet is gone
The most dangerous earthly phenomenon
Danger does multiply
Buildings give their last goodbye
Trees bending around
Swaying like toothpicks, just stuck in the ground

Water pooling at my feet
Neighbors swimming down the street
People evacuating
I am just waiting

So think of your neighbors
Your family and friends as saviors
And band together
Act forever
With the togetherness you showed in the storm.


Message to Readers

I am looking for positive critique on this piece, as well as help with rhymes... Thanks!


Peer Review

'In the eye of a hurricane' - It caught my attention and pulled me in to the rest of the poem. The last line is also good!


Comfort, peace. It is said that in the eye of the hurricane is complete calm, while you see the storm rage around you. The last verse of this portrayed a community brought together by the hurricane, which is a wonderful picture! Everyone here has the same current problem, and can relate to each other. When you understand the situation, it's easier to help.


You're talking about the hurricanes in (I'm really bad with geography names and directions :P) the Americas? This is the first piece that I've seen on here about the Hurricanes, and you did a great job in putting yourself in the place of the victims.


Reviewer Comments

With this piece, you helped me to be awed at the nature which God has made. You did a fabulous job on this, and while I didn't notice the rhymes all that much, (and you really don't need them to rhyme) the words that you choose fit really well!
Keep up the fantastic work!
God bless!