Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I hope you liked this piece! I wanted to try something new. :)
'Believe me, if I could, I would. ' - Great ending! This piece is so incredibly sad! I honestly do believe that those who pass on watch over us who are left. Perhaps not on earth. It is, however, an undiscovered part of the world. :)
Sadness. A deep want to help the ghost who wants to be able to reach out to her family. You did such a superb job with this piece, that I felt as if I was the ghost. I love the 'Happy Birthday' touch that you put on this! It made it more realistic, and sad, too.
Was this inspired by something in your life? I know that you're not a ghost. :P But I was wondering if maybe someone in your family died young. You don't have to answer if you'd rather not. :) You did such a great job on this! I can't emphasize this enough.
Superb! Absolutely superb! You did a good job in catching my attention (ghosts usually do :P), and kept it throughout the composition. Your title was excellent as well. I like how you wrote this from the perspective of someone who has already died. It's sad, and a little disheartening, but very interesting!
Keep up the awesome work!