Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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Safe

By: Just a Girl in a World


You had always enjoyed the light. Walking through the trees on a crisp autumn day, the cool breeze tickling your fingertips before you had a chance to pull on your mittens. A rabbit hippity-hopped its way across your path, and you offer it a wave and a smile as it rushes to what will be its home for the coming months. You could follow after it, discover what truly happens when you fall down, down, down into a rabbit hole, but you don't. You're enjoying the sun shining on your face, its warmth caressing your cheeks, your scarf fluttering in the breeze being reminded of days past. You smile to yourself, not remembering when the last time you felt this good was. Yes, the light was your friend and with it came good memories and the feeling one could only describe as safe.


Peer Review

It pulls me into the story as the character. I can feel the wind, the sunshine, and smile when the character smiles.


What were the good memories? I like the hint of them that you have here, though. :) I like how you touched on safety at the end. Safety is sometimes hard to find, but feeling it is a smile and a joy all wrapped up together. :D I know that I am always safe in God's arms.


Reviewer Comments

I especially appreciate this piece because it's getting cold here where I live. ;) Just a thought, but you may want to add a short line from the sense of smell. Maybe about apples, (since it's Autumn), or perhaps something baking? But I think since you have this piece out in nature, something that grows outside would be best. ;)
Anyways, do what you like. Great job with this!
God bless!